Don’t always expect thanks from a child
In this time of giving thanks, how do you handle it when children do not seem thankful for all that they have?
How do parents who work hard manage an apparent lack of gratitude for what they provide?
How do you address a child who continually wants more without contributing as much as you would like them to?
Rather than label a child as “spoiled” — because labels don’t solve problems, and they do limit our creativity — balance your expectations, set limits and allow greater responsibility. Notice your feelings while you manage your expectations. Model gratitude and yet do not automatically expect it of very young children or teens.
Don’t take a lack of gratitude personally. Instead, without criticism and with a big dose of curiosity, let them know what you observe. Have a conversation. Request what you would like.
Have your child make a financial contribution in purchasing things that he or she wants. An investment — skin in the game — means greater appreciation. Let your child know how much you are willing to invest. Suggest ways for your child to earn the money.
If you find yourself angry, irritated or resentful that what you do for your children goes unappreciated, discover what you are doing for them that they can do for themselves. Let your children fix their own lunches, wake themselves up in the morning or dress themselves.
With an older child, let them prepare part of the family meal, take charge of feeding your pets or do the laundry. Allow them greater responsibility.