Reader considers a new therapy
Dear Annie: A therapist recommended that I try EMDR in order to process past traumas. I don’t really understand what it involves. Could you explain what EMDR is and how it works? — Curious but Confused
Dear Curious but Confused: EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. Francine Shapiro developed the form of psychotherapy in the late 1980s. It involves asking individuals to recall traumatic events while giving themselves some sensory input — such as crossing their arms and tapping their shoulders or looking from side to side. It’s often recommended for the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder. According to the American Psychological Association, EMDR “is associated with a reduction in the vividness and emotion associated with the trauma memories.” There is some controversy regarding the treatment’s efficacy over other methods of psychotherapy. Don’t be shy about asking your therapist for more information.
Dear Annie: Years ago, Ann Landers had a column about hate. I’m sorry to say I lost the paper.
It was about how when you hate other people, it’s you hating yourself.
I hope you can find the column. — C.L.L., Canfield, Ohio
Dear C.L.L.: I believe you’re referring to “Rules for Being Human,” a piece of unknown origin that Ann Landers printed several times. It contains some real gems, such as the passage you mentioned about hate, and it’s my pleasure to reprint it. Rules for Being Human You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for as long as you live. How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make an enormous difference in the quality of your life.
You are enrolled in a full-time school called Life. Each day, you will be presented with opportunities to learn what you need to know. The lessons presented are often different from those you THINK you need.
There are no mistakes — only lessons.
A lesson is repeated until it is learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it (as evidenced by a change in your attitude and behavior), then you can go on to the next lesson.
Learning lessons does not end. There is no stage of life that does not contain some lessons. As long as you live, there will be something more to learn.
“There” is no better than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here,” you will obtain another “there” that will again look better than your “here.” Don’t be fooled by believing that the unattainable is better than what you have.
Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. When tempted to criticize others, ask yourself why you feel so strongly.
The answers are within you. The solutions to all of life’s problems are within your grasp. All you need to do is ask, look, listen and trust.
You will forget all this. Unless you consistently stay focused on the goals you have set for yourself, everything you’ve just read won’t mean a thing.
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