Makes romance a snap?

The ABCs of teen dating

“He is so cute! Should I get his Snapchat?”

This has become the go-to question when making the first move toward a new crush. Teen dating has been a parent’s greatest worry since the beginning of time. But in recent years, its definition has quickly changed to an online-driven confusion of over complicated steps that parents probably don’t understand.

But every teenager knows the required ABCs of dating in 2019, with its sometimes overwhelming form of etiquette. The routine has been placed into our heads by social media every day.

Step one: The stalking. The first thing to do is creep on their Instagram or Facebook. Sometimes this crucial step involves the recruitment of friends to help find your crush on every one of their accounts. Sometimes, however, we can track them all by ourselves in the dark solitude of our rooms, lost in the web of the internet at 3 in the morning. Either way, every teen knows the measures you will go through to find a “bae” online if you really like them. Once found, every profile is scanned to see if they meet your standards, to find out if they already are dating someone or to plainly stare at their perfect face while you browse through their selfies.

Step two: The Snapchat. Once you know you like them, it is time to get their Snap. If someone’s Snapchat is already in their Instagram bio, it really is the biggest sigh of relief. The truly scary part comes if you have to actually direct message someone on Instagram to get their Snapchat. Because there is no way I am actually going to talk to them in person, right? At this point, a face-to-face conversation is almost completely unheard of and, frankly, absolutely terrifying. But if they give you their Snapchat, all is officially set to go.

Step three: The streak. As soon as you have their Snapchat, you actually have to have a conversation. Half the time you send a Snapchat photo to them saying “streak,” pretending it was a mistake, and then you send a follow-up saying, “Sorry, I did not mean to send that to you. But would you want to start a streak?” I am not sure that sending a picture on Snapchat to each other every single day is really the greatest form of affection a teenager could show, but it has become the standard.

Step four: “Talking.” If all goes well and your crush agrees to begin the standard form of social media communication, you two begin “talking.” The term means the two of you are essentially “a thing,” but you are not yet dating. This makes it acceptable for either of you to stop “talking” without any kind of official breakup if needed, but also makes it so you are one step closer to being official. Try explaining that idea to your parents.

Step five: You date! With an official “will you be my girlfriend?” proposal, your crush is now officially your SO (significant other). At this point, you put their name in your Instagram bio so that no one else tries to make you theirs. Simple as that. Really.

Did I forget to mention that all of this totally can and has been done before without taking these crazy steps? It might come as a shocker, but you can initiate a first date using whatever steps feel right for you and not feel like you have to start from social media. And, yes, you can actually talk to your crush in person. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Sofia Ortiz is a junior at St. Michael’s High School. You can contact her at sofiagoesgreen10@gmail.com.