Canutito makes New Year’s resolutions ‘pa’la porra’
Ya se estaba llegando the end of the year and Canutito was excited porque he wondered just lo que el Año Nuevo would bring. He sat allí en la cocina leafing por el Spiegel catalog, deseando todas las cosas buenas that he saw en el catálogo. Su grampo was sitting a su lão rolling un cigarrito con el punche “Duke” que tenía in a little white pouch. He had taken los blue labels off del parquetito, licked them and he stuck them en sus sienes. He looked kind of funny con los labels azules pegãos on either side of this temples, but he claimed que así he could drive away un dolor de cabeza.
Canutito turned to him y le preguntó: “Grampo, what did la gente de más antes do to celebrate el Año Nuevo? Did they have tradiciones that were un poco extrañas?”
“Well, vamos a ver, m’hijo,” grampo began, tapping on his blue-tinted temples. “As I remember, mi papá salía out en el portal just antes de la medianoche y shooteaba su rifle.
“Why would he shoot his rifle just before midnight, grampo?” Canutito asked him.
“I think que quería matar al Año Viejo and usher in el Año Nuevo,” grampo mused. “Cuando shooteaba he was trying to kill the old habits from the last year y darle la bienvenida al New Year, hoping que better things would happen.
“What about you, grama?” Canutito called to her as she stood cerca de la estufa, removing la carne de una cabeza de marrano. “Do you know of any traditions que la gente usaba para hacer welcome el Año Nuevo?
“Mi abuelita used to tell me que en España las personas like to eat doce grapes antes del stroke of midnight para tener prosperidad in the New Year,” she said. “In this country, algunas personas hacen New Year’s resolutions,” she added.
“¿Qué clase de resoluciones, grama?” Canutito asked her, bien interesão.
“Pues, they try to figure out cómo hacer algo diferente en sus vidas that will help them improve themselves en el Año Nuevo,” Grama Cuca replied.
“I think que I would like to hacerle el trai de amejorar my own life,” Canutito said, pulling out un lápiz y un papel to where he could make una lista. He began to write en el papel: “I would like to become una better person. In order to become una persona mejor, I have to work harder. Si trabajo más, though, I will get tired. Si me canso, entonces I am going to have to rest some more. Si descanso más, I may fell asleep. Si me duermo, entonces I may have bad nightmares. Si tengo pesadillas malas, then I may become una persona mala. If I am a bad person then I’m not really una better person.” He stopped porque the more he tried de ser una buena persona, the worse he became.
He thought: “I need to try it again. Now let’s see: En el Año Nuevo, I want to become una persona rica. Para ser a richer person, I have to make más dinero. With more money I can buy myself una bicicleta nueva. With a new bike I can ride to school en ella. If I take la baica a la escuela I am going to have to find un lugar pa’ parquearla. If I park the bike in the bushes entonces I may see a skunk. Si veo un zorrillo, I can take it to school for ‘show and smell’.” He paused. He couldn’t figure out cómo un skunk would make him más rico.
He put down his su lápiz y papel. Making resolutions para el Año Nuevo was challenging work.
“Mis resoluciones están todas pa’la porra,” he said. “I think que este año voy a hacer una resolución not to make any resolutions ...”