Survivor shares their experience with bullying
Dear Annie: This letter describes my life experiences with bullies and how I managed to succeed. I was a scrawny, pimplefaced little kid growing up, had a weak voice, got fists shaken in my face while being held to the ground several times, was held underwater in swimming class and nearly drowned, was mocked for not having a girlfriend until my early 20s and was always the last person to be picked for a team in gym class. Living through all that, I never wanted anything to do with sports or extracurricular activities. Much of the mockery came from the sports jocks and guys bigger than me.
Once I graduated, I swore I’d never have anything to do with class reunions or sports, and I haven’t. I’ve heard that those individuals “are different people now” and that I should attend a reunion to see for myself and maybe show off some of my accomplishments. I feel the saying “A leopard never loses its spots” applies here. I’m in my early 70s now and am mostly over the pain, embarrassment and frustration. Even so, now and then, I wouldn’t mind unfortunate things happening to those people who made my life unbearable. Mostly, I get over those ideas of revenge quickly and resume the latest book, project or movie I’m consuming.
Just in the past few years, I’ve learned never to take any abuse from anyone. I’m a gentle person, dislike violent movies or TV shows and I no longer put up with abusive people. I’ve learned a lot from various autobiographies. Many famous people were abused but managed to do quite well in spite of it all. But the scars never go away totally. I’ve read many books and learned a lot. My wife, daughter and I have traveled the world and met famous people, and I’ve had a great retirement.
Instead of totally withdrawing and being sad about my experience as a pre-teen and teenager, I pursued activities and hobbies that didn’t involve school, sports or winning. My advice to young people in a situation similar to mine is to pursue activities to increase your knowledge and mental abilities (reading, writing, grammar, critical thinking, etc.) and to keep up your physical health. By far, the best video I’ve ever seen is Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen, read by Baz Luhrmann and available on YouTube. To those in relatable situations: I know EXACTLY what you’re going through and probably how you feel. I have good friends with values the same as mine. I have nothing to do with bullies. Life has a funny way of evening up the “score” — it just might take a while.
— Been There, Survived and Prospered Dear Been There: I love the happy ending, albeit with a difficult beginning, to your story. Thank you for sharing.