‘Pooh’-inspired horror film is out to ruin your childhood
Who doesn’t want to see a beloved storybook character violently kill people? Me.
Initially, after being sent the trailer for Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey by a relative, I laughed and sent it off to my horror movie buddy. It was meant as a joke — to be scoffed at, made fun of and moved past. I did not expect to be dragged to the one-time showing of the film at Violet Crown and seated to watch the disfigured depictions of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet go on a murderous rampage.
To preface, I’ve watched a lot of horror, mostly psychological. I prefer convoluted plots where suspense, atmosphere and the idea of something (rather than a physical thing) arouses fear. On the flip side, I find slasher films with an emphasis on gore pretty cheap. It’s not hard to horrify an audience with torturous death. However, regardless of my personal preferences, this movie was lacking.
The film, directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield and released in February, kicks off its extremely basic plot when beloved Winnie the Pooh and Piglet develop a hatred for mankind after Christopher Robin abandons them to attend college. Returning to the Hundred Acre Wood to introduce his fiancée to his childhood friends, Christopher is kidnapped and tortured by Pooh after Piglet kills the love of Christopher’s life.
Winnie the Pooh and Piglet, having developed a taste for blood, go on to discover a group of women vacationing in a cabin, and proceed to kill them off one by one. In the end, though Piglet was slayed by one of the girls, the somehow immortal Winnie the Pooh walks away with one survivor, the man who killed his innocent spirit: Christopher Robin.
It might sound like a copyright violation, but Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey was based off of A.A. Milne’s original 1926 book Winnie-the-Pooh, which entered public domain last year. Disney still owns the rights to the animated, red-shirt-wearing Winnie the Pooh most people grew up watching.
The character depth is shallow at best. Though one victim, Maria, is explained to have a history with being stalked, this tidbit of background adds conclusively nothing to the story. (Maria also manages to forget where she put the gun she brought with her on vacation in a matter of hours.)
In summation, after leaving the theater, one is left with the impression of having watched a compilation of deaths sewn together with frivolous filler rather than a cohesive film.
Overall, while sitting through the hour and 40 minutes it took for Winnie the Pooh and Piglet to kill 15 people using everything from a sledgehammer to a woodchipper, I wasn’t scared. The entire movie was indeed horrific, but it just felt gross to watch.
With little to no emotional attachment to any of the characters, the audience is left to sit back and simply wait for the next “outside of the box” killing, which no, is not a compliment when it comes to murder. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is simply a substance-less film with just one purpose: to permanently mar the viewer’s image of innocent childhood characters. I would unsee the movie if I could.