He’s ready to leave over lack of intimacy
Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married coming on 19 years. We have two kids. Since we had children, she never seems to want to be intimate with me — so much so that she went to her general doctor for some help. That was three years ago. She finally figured things out and determined that it was stressrelated.
I take care of the kids during COVID-19 and work full time. Not sure I can stay in this marriage; in fact, I am close to done. I am very lonely. Any advice? — Sexless in Seattle
Dear Sexless: You have two children to think about. Don’t give up before you have tried marriage counseling. Making a life-altering decision is never a good idea during a global pandemic. Everyone’s stress levels are way up. Instead, use this as an opportunity to find a good marriage therapist and work on your marriage.
Use this as an opportunity to find a good marriage therapist and work on your marriage.
Hey, jealousy
Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and we’re expecting a baby. But ever since we’ve known that I was expecting, it’s like our whole relationship turned upside down. He thinks I’m cheating on him behind his back with his cousin, which I’m not.
Every month until today, we would always have arguments over the same conversation, and I really cannot handle it anymore. I can only take so much. I just want our relationship to go back to how it was before, when we were happy. — Distraught
Dear Distraught: You are wise to write in now, because my guess is that, if left unaddressed, his jealousy will only worsen once the baby arrives. Try to show him more affection and reassure him that you love him. Perhaps the pregnancy has triggered some old hurt and insecurities from his past, leaving him feeling vulnerable and acting out. Be understanding, and try to talk to him.
It sounds like he might be a little obsessed or stuck on the idea of you with his cousin. If the talking doesn’t seem to go anywhere and he is almost harassing you, it is time to seek professional help from a therapist.
Role reversal
Dear Annie: I have two beautiful children, a daughter and a son. I raised my son, while my daughter’s father raised her. My son does everything for me, and he is married and has a 4-yearold boy. My daughter is a pharmacist, just divorced and has no children. She never comes to see me — no birthday gifts or Christmas presents.
I’m 60 and in not-sogood health. I feel her dad probably talked about me over the years. I left when she was 9. But I still had my visitation rights. Do you think I’m a bad mom? — Bad Mom
Dear Bad Mom: I am not here to judge whether you are a bad mom or not. It sounds like you probably made some not-sogreat decisions when your children were young. You are 60 now, and a lot of time has passed. You can’t go back in time, but instead of blaming your daughter’s father for your daughter’s behavior toward you, take responsibility and repair it.
Admit your mistakes, and just tell her how much you love her and that you want a relationship with her. But don’t expect her to take care of you. Remember, you are the mother.