Dream big and keep it real
Our 4 a.m. cellphone alarms pierced the quiet and had us groggily making coffee. The day would mark two milestones. Our grandson’s eighth grade graduation, and the first pomp and circumstance in-person celebration held for family members since the COVID-19 shutdowns.
I suggested we take our old Volkswagen bug to make the two-anda half hour trek, since a gallon of gas is nearly $5 dollars. I knew it was more a protest to the climbing inflation, and interest rates hiked again, this time .75% just that morning. Each, highs not seen in decades and reminders of the 1970s’ gas lines. But the car was of the same era and we didn’t want to risk throwing a wrench in our plans, after all, graduations are gravy moments and my husband Steve and I weren’t about to miss Collin’s.
Three hours later we pulled into the Massachusetts school parking lot where we met our son and daughter-in-law. Much to our delight our young graduate received recognition in mathematics and civics.
Earlier, I’d written wellwishes and advice in longhand in a card. An appreciation and knowledge for a communication which he may someday read in historical accounts, documents, and diaries, may be needed.
Second, milestones like this are moments when reflection both for graduates and from those elders who care for them, can impart guidance and wisdom from real-world experience.
This exchange shows a growing teen that the adults believe that they can do the hard work to achieve their dreams. Working for things is a worthwhile role, and the graduate’s alone, though we cheer them on and stand on the sidelines if ever they need support.
I snapped photos noticing friends and teachers in our grandson’s life as they approached the auditorium stage where band members played and balloons swayed in school colors. Steve squeezed my knee when he recognized the painting by our 14-year- old graduate flashing up on the wide screen as one of a few select works chosen by his art teacher.
And of course, as grandparents, there’s advice to be shared. Even when we ourselves might’ve made some mistakes. … Sometimes that lived experience is the best way to sound advice.
A friend of ours to whom our fledgling high school freshman has been introduced, sends a text after getting a photo of us after the event in front of the school.
“You may be the youngest of the big kids, but that will change fast, and the world will be your oyster. …
“Remember, I have been there and done all of that (and perhaps you grandfather has too), but you can ask any questions, request any advice … that’s part of the deal. The rest of the deal, well that’s for you to figure out, and have fun while doing it!”
My dad used to say, “A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins.”
Steve’s mother recalls feeling homesick as a college freshman. Her dad told her to finish the year and then decide.
“I didn’t raise a quitter.” Advice we’ve followed and handed down to our kids, trying to strike a balance between seeing Plan A through and knowing when it’s time to go to Plan B.
The most important thing we can do as parents and as grandparents is to keep it real by letting our kids know we have faith in them, no matter what. We’re honest that the journey is hard-fought but
worth it. We make sure they see that they, and they alone, are responsible for the paths they choose. Of course, we’re always there should they need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend.
Letting go little by little is a parent’s path, until the day comes when a child picks up the baton
of advice and runs with it. The guiding words of loved ones and their own real world experience create their course until they pass the baton to the next generation. Perhaps this beautiful exchange is the advice.
So graduates, take in the advice, use what you can and save the rest for later, and always remember you are loved beyond your wildest dreams. And know that dreams can only happen when you have a plan (or two) and you do the work. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s worth trying. Stay honest. Be true. Look for the truth. Be fearless. Keep it real, and for now, congrats!