Sons’ autism changed dad’s life
'Super dad' Darren Goad now works at Bridgewell, which offers autism services
When Darren Goad’s first-born son Joshua, then 2, was diagnosed with autism in 1998, he was angry.
“I remember getting angry, and then very sad. I had only known autism from watching ‘St. Elsewhere’ as a kid,” Goad said.
“St. Elsewhere’” was a drama television series that ran from 1982 to 1988, and featured a recurring character named Tommy Westphall as a child with autism.
Eighteen months later, the family welcomed Jacob, who was diagnosed on the autism spectrum, too, and their challenges doubled.
The doctor told Goad and his wife, Kelley, that it was going to be a long road for the young family, but the Goads had no idea that that road would involve half a dozen moves, three different jobs and many transitions for their young sons.
“You’re a parent, that’s what you do,” Goad said. “But I didn’t realize then exactly what that meant until many years later.
“My sons were almost born at the wrong time, because right around 1996, the law changed from maximum feasible accommodation of children with special needs in education to appropriate feasible accommodation,” Goad explained. “And when the word ‘appropriate’ got put into the law, all these towns like Lowell started opening up their own PDD (pervasive developmental disorders) classrooms, which really didn’t meet our sons’ needs.”
Ironically, Lowell’s early educational effort forced the family to move to a community that wasn’t as inclusive.
In public school systems without special educational programs, districts are required to send students with special needs to out- of- district placements that can properly meet their educational needs. These placements are at the expense of the district and not the family.
The Goads hopscotched school districts — from Lowell to Dracut to Fitchburg and Billerica — trying to stay one step ahead of what they saw then as an admirable but inadequate system of educating their sons.
“My wife and I, we grew up in Lowell — one street apart,” Goad said. “Our families were in the area. But we made the decision to do what’s right for our boys.”
Doing what’s right included a career change for Goad, whose job when the boys were toddlers was working as an area manager for a nationwide art retail company.
“I was opening stores all over, and flying out to California for training. I was on the road a lot. Kelley
was really getting buried in the boys’ therapies and appointments. She was dealing with a lot,” Goad said. “My wife said to me one day, ‘ You’re miserable. You really want to be here. Why don’t you look into working in this field?’”
Goad quit his job, took a 50% pay cut and started working in his sons’ school at Valley Collaborative, a special education program in Billerica that meets the needs of children and
adults. Six months later, the school hired him to be a job recruiter in their social and human services program, which helped source jobs in the community for the students. He worked there for more than 20 years.
“When my sons aged out of the educational system, it didn’t matter where my wife and I lived,” Goad said.
“We’ve always followed our children. But we’ve al
ways wanted to live on the North Shore, and it’s kind of in between where our boys currently live in their residential programs. It’s a good spot to be so we can visit with them during the week and on weekends.”
That physical move led to one more career move when Goad left Valley Collaborative and began working as a career specialist with Bridgewell, a social and human services nonprofit organiza
tion that empowers people with disabilities and other life challenges to live safe, self- directed and productive lives.
“I love it. I absolutely love it. I work with both kids and adults,” Goad said. “We prepare our clients to be in the community — to be able to work in the community. I have our clients volunteering at the Billerica Community Pantry or Meals on Wheels in a group- supported environment.”
The shutdowns and disruptions with COVID-19 threw the carefully curated jobs program out of whack, said Goad. Many businesses that Bridgewell used to work with, to provide meaningful employment to their clients, either closed or were working remote.
“We did a lot of work with colleges, and they’re doing a lot more remote so they don’t need us onsite as much, right now,” explained Goad.
“We’re staying in contact with those employers so that as they reconfigure what their new nor
mal looks like, our clients can be part of that.”
A more enlightened workforce populated by young people is what impresses Goad as the most significant change he’s seen over the years.
“The biggest thing that has changed in the past 26 years is empathy,” Goad observed. “I’m inspired by the younger generation who are so familiar with being around other people who have intellectual, physical and emotional challenges — much more than I was growing up. Everybody, it seems, knows somebody with autism.
“Organizations and businesses are reaching out because they want to somehow be involved with our clients. And that sometimes requires just being openminded and creative.”
Goad mused that his oldest is now the age Goad was when Josh was born.
“Our sons’ challenges were signif icant and changed our lives so much,” Goad said. “But we were right where we needed to be in both their lives and in ours.”