Be­foreIhad­kids...

Serve Daily - - EMPOWERING LIBERTY - By Joe Capell

Be­foreI had kids, I would go to which­ever fast food restau­rant was clos­est. Now, I’ll drive 20 miles out of my way to find a fast food restau­rant with a PlayPlace.

Be­fore I had kids, my only con­cern with stairs was how winded I might get that have been used to wipe the noses if I had to climb sev­eral flights of them of my chil­dren and placed in my pocket at once. Now, I look at ev­ery stair­way as when no garbage can was read­ily avail­able. a “Scary, Jagged In­cline of Ter­ror” that might cause in­jury and pain to my tod­dler Be­fore I had kids, if I cut my fin­ger, I who hasn’t yet learned how to safely nav­i­gate would put a Band-Aid on it. Now, I have them. to choose whether I want a “Frozen,”

Be­fore I had kids, I would eat spaghetti “Scooby-Doo” or “Toy Story” Band-Aid. when­ever I felt like it. Now, I plan eat­ing Be­fore I had kids, I could sit in a chair spaghetti around my chil­dren’s bath times for hours with­out get­ting dis­turbed. Now, and won’t let them eat it un­less I have I can some­times sit in a chair for 20 min­utes quick ac­cess to a bath­tub. (Or pos­si­bly a be­fore a tiny per­son climbs on top of hose.) me and knees me in the crotch.

Be­fore I had kids, it never would have Be­fore I had kids, I ate what­ever I oc­curred to me to walk up to some­one wanted, when­ever I wanted. Now, I wait in a pub­lic place and sniff their bot­tom. un­til the kids are in bed be­fore hav­ing Now, I do so reg­u­larly. treats be­cause I don’t want them to eat too

Be­fore I had kids, I would put on my much sugar. (And I don’t want to share socks, then I would put on my shoes. my good­ies with them.) Now, be­fore I put on my shoes, I have to Be­fore I had kids, I would smile oc­ca­sion­ally. check them to make sure there aren’t any Now, I find my­self smil­ing and toys and/or fruit snacks hid­ing in them. laugh­ing much more fre­quently, be­cause

Be­fore I had kids, I could sim­ply reach as crazy as they drive me some­times, my into my pocket to get my car keys. Now, kids also make me pretty darn happy! to get to the keys, I have to nav­i­gate past You can find new funny-ish stuff ev­ery the half dozen slightly used fa­cial tis­sues Tues­day and Fri­day at slowjoe40.com.

Maple Moun­tain High School stu­dents Hil­lary Hirst, Isaac Tay­lor, Talia Olsen and Mad­die Palmer par­tic­i­pated in the ProS­tart State Fi­nals in March.

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