Some shows I want to see

Siloam Springs Herald Leader - - OPINION -

En­ter­tain­ment de­ci­sions were so much sim­pler when I was a child. Our choices on tele­vi­sion were lim­ited to three chan­nels re­ceived by the 75-foot an­tenna in our New Mex­ico back­yard. We went to the drive-in movie theater three or four times a year dur­ing the warm months. Rarely could I stay awake to watch the whole movie be­cause dark­ness didn’t de­scend un­til around 9:30 p.m. The li­brary was a great place to visit in the hot sum­mer months. Any other forms of en­ter­tain­ment sprung from our imag­i­na­tion.

To­day, I have more than 300 chan­nels on satel­lite tele­vi­sion, plus online stream­ing video ser­vices. One would think that the of­fer­ings would be di­verse and in­ter­est­ing, but they are not. Ap­par­ently, Hol­ly­wood stu­dios are too timid to take chances with pro­duc­ing shows that are “dif­fer­ent.” Too much money at stake. So the best course of ac­tion is to find a show that re­ceives high view­er­ship, then pro­duce more of the same. It’s why we have se­quel after se­quel at the the­aters. If a “re­al­ity” show be­comes a fa­vorite among view­ers, then spin off 12 more! Cop shows, med­i­cal dra­mas, cook­ing shows; if one is good, then more is bet­ter. What we need is more cut­ting-edge ma­te­rial, shows that re­ally push the en­ve­lope of cred­i­bil­ity, not more “Shark­nado” id­iocy.

Here are some ideas for shows I be­lieve would be huge hits:

• White House Night­mares — a re­al­ity show in which celebrity guests are given three days to fix a bro­ken, dys­func­tional U.S. pres­i­dency. The celebri­ties are given full ac­cess to all the trap­pings of the pres­i­dency, in­clud­ing the nu­clear codes, in or­der to form a “more per­fect union.” You don’t want to miss Jim Car­rey’s hi­lar­i­ous hi­jinks when he calls Putin on the White House hot­line!

• Sur­vivor: Mil­len­ni­als — fea­tures a locked room of young mil­len­ni­als seated on couches, each with their own cell­phone. One by one, the phones in­ex­pli­ca­bly power down, leav­ing the young­sters with only their so­cial skills to cope for the next 24 hours. Good luck get­ting take-out, kids!

• Are You Smarter Than a Con­gress­man? — pits 6th-grade chil­dren against their states’ sen­a­tors and con­gress­men in a bat­tle of wits. You may not be shocked who wins.

• Young Don­ald is a sit-com star­ring Ma­caulay Culkin as 12-year-old Don­ald Trump. You will laugh and cry as you watch Don­ald’s fa­ther, Fred Trump (played by Jon Voight) teach young Don­ald the finer points of the busi­ness world. Don­ald learns valu­able lessons by watch­ing his dad abuse ten­ants in his run­down hous­ing projects, cheat work­ers, and ridicule the poor. Guest ap­pear­ances by Ann Coul­ter as Don­ald’s mother.

• Mc­Connell-gyver — a drama fo­cus­ing on Se­na­tor Mitch Mc­Connell’s amaz­ing meth­ods of ob­struct­ing leg­is­la­tion in Congress so that noth­ing ever gets done. Mc­Connell, seem­ingly trapped by the po­lit­i­cal op­po­si­tion, still finds novel and some­times hu­mor­ous ways to keep the elec­torate dis­tracted while still rak­ing in mil­lions for his next cam­paign.

• Refugee Dy­nasty — set in south­ern Ari­zona, is a docu­d­rama of how one fam­ily has sur­vived for gen­er­a­tions by trap­ping refugees who cross the south­ern United States bor­der. Their style of hunt­ing has re­sulted in their hold­ing the record for most il­le­gals cap­tured.

Though not rec­og­nized or sanc­tioned by lo­cal au­thor­i­ties, the fam­ily finds many ways of trap­ping their prey. No catch-and re­lease here, snowflakes!

On sec­ond thought, maybe I’ll just read a book.

— Devin Hous­ton is the pres­i­dent/CEO of Hous­ton En­zymes. Send com­ments or ques­tions to devin. hous­ton@gmail.com. The opin­ions ex­pressed are those of the au­thor.

Devin Hous­ton

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