Some shows I want to see
Entertainment decisions were so much simpler when I was a child. Our choices on television were limited to three channels received by the 75-foot antenna in our New Mexico backyard. We went to the drive-in movie theater three or four times a year during the warm months. Rarely could I stay awake to watch the whole movie because darkness didn’t descend until around 9:30 p.m. The library was a great place to visit in the hot summer months. Any other forms of entertainment sprung from our imagination.
Today, I have more than 300 channels on satellite television, plus online streaming video services. One would think that the offerings would be diverse and interesting, but they are not. Apparently, Hollywood studios are too timid to take chances with producing shows that are “different.” Too much money at stake. So the best course of action is to find a show that receives high viewership, then produce more of the same. It’s why we have sequel after sequel at the theaters. If a “reality” show becomes a favorite among viewers, then spin off 12 more! Cop shows, medical dramas, cooking shows; if one is good, then more is better. What we need is more cutting-edge material, shows that really push the envelope of credibility, not more “Sharknado” idiocy.
Here are some ideas for shows I believe would be huge hits:
• White House Nightmares — a reality show in which celebrity guests are given three days to fix a broken, dysfunctional U.S. presidency. The celebrities are given full access to all the trappings of the presidency, including the nuclear codes, in order to form a “more perfect union.” You don’t want to miss Jim Carrey’s hilarious hijinks when he calls Putin on the White House hotline!
• Survivor: Millennials — features a locked room of young millennials seated on couches, each with their own cellphone. One by one, the phones inexplicably power down, leaving the youngsters with only their social skills to cope for the next 24 hours. Good luck getting take-out, kids!
• Are You Smarter Than a Congressman? — pits 6th-grade children against their states’ senators and congressmen in a battle of wits. You may not be shocked who wins.
• Young Donald is a sit-com starring Macaulay Culkin as 12-year-old Donald Trump. You will laugh and cry as you watch Donald’s father, Fred Trump (played by Jon Voight) teach young Donald the finer points of the business world. Donald learns valuable lessons by watching his dad abuse tenants in his rundown housing projects, cheat workers, and ridicule the poor. Guest appearances by Ann Coulter as Donald’s mother.
• McConnell-gyver — a drama focusing on Senator Mitch McConnell’s amazing methods of obstructing legislation in Congress so that nothing ever gets done. McConnell, seemingly trapped by the political opposition, still finds novel and sometimes humorous ways to keep the electorate distracted while still raking in millions for his next campaign.
• Refugee Dynasty — set in southern Arizona, is a docudrama of how one family has survived for generations by trapping refugees who cross the southern United States border. Their style of hunting has resulted in their holding the record for most illegals captured.
Though not recognized or sanctioned by local authorities, the family finds many ways of trapping their prey. No catch-and release here, snowflakes!
On second thought, maybe I’ll just read a book.
— Devin Houston is the president/CEO of Houston Enzymes. Send comments or questions to devin. firstname.lastname@example.org. The opinions expressed are those of the author.