Don’t be fooled by Southern accents

I spent last week in Atlanta on business. My product manufacturer was bought by a competitor located north of Atlanta, which meant I had to audit the facility as per the Food and Drug Administration’s policy. There was also a medical conference in Atlanta that same week, so I combined both events into one trip.

I guess my brain was preparing for the trip a couple of weeks ahead of time. Tom Petty’s song “Southern Accents” was constantly playing in the back of my mind. Of course, always having my truck’s stereo on the Tom Petty channel on satellite radio could have played a role as well.

If you have never heard this song you are missing a treat. “Southern Accents” was written in 1985 by Petty and released on his sixth album of the same name. If you are not a fan of Tom Petty (shame on you!) then listen to Johnny Cash’s rendition. The song is a soulful, slow recitation of a Southern man’s remorse, memories and regrets. But throughout the lyrics runs the pride of having a strong work ethic, an abiding faith and a wisdom earned from life experience.

As I encountered workers in the hotels and restaurants, listened in on everyday conversations on the streets, I thought back to the years spent in Mobile, Ala., while in graduate school. I remember how quickly my Arkansas accent adapted to that of the Deep South. Near the end of my doctoral work, I interviewed in Boise, Idaho, for a post-doctoral position which entailed a presentation on my part. I was introduced by my host as “a bright young man.” He then cautioned the audience “not to deduct 50 points from his IQ based on his Southern accent. Don’t let his slow drawl fool you.” Now I took this as a humorous observation, but I was still slightly offended. One of the verses in “Southern Accents” came to mind as I walked to the front of the room:

“There’s a southern accent, where I come from

The young’uns call it country, the yankees call it dumb

I got my own way of talkin, but everything is done

With a southern accent where I come from”

The host’s jibe got a good laugh from the room as I reached the podium. Now, I already knew I was not taking the job, so I felt no pressure or nervousness. I simply smiled at my host, then at the crowd, and said, “Bless your little hearts” in my best and slowest drawl. Anyone from the South knows that that statement is not always a statement of sympathy or concern. It can also be meant as an insult to an idiot. Which was the intent in this case.

I then stared directly at the audience and stated: “Yes, I speak slowly as do many from the South. We find it helps when talking to dense Northerners.” There was about three seconds of silence, followed by some nervous laughter. I then remarked, “Wow, tough room!” and launched into my lecture. An offer of employment was made soon after, but I politely turned it down. I didn’t want to lose my accent or my edge.

“I got my own way of livin’, but everything gets done;

With a southern accent, where I come from.”