One more Christmas ...
The hurry, the crowds, one event after another. The school Christmas plays, making travel plans, deciding who gets what gift: Oh, it’s just too much! I think George is coming down with the flu. Great, my husband once again finds a way to leave Christmas all up to me! Why can’t I enjoy this holiday in peace? Why does it have to be so stressful? Ugh, if I can just make it through one more Christmas…
John, the talks broke down again, looks like the insurgents are winding up for another round of attacks. I know we thought I might be home before the year is out, but I’m afraid it’s not going to happen. Even with the troop drawdowns, I’m pretty sure I’ll have to stay here. They need pilots and I’m still the best Apache jock in the squad. Tell the kids Mommy loves them and wishes she could be there to see them open their presents. I promise, babe, I’ll be away for just one more Christmas…
I thought I could do Christmas this year. Until I pulled the stocking with your name on it from the box of decorations. I still can’t believe my baby girl, my first-born, is gone. Even worse, I don’t understand why you left us.
You seemed happy, but I guess we missed the signs. Your father blames himself. He remembers some of the things you said that we now realize were signs of your depression. But we’ve got to be strong for your little brother and sister. How do we explain it all to them? We just want you back for one more Christmas…
A Christmas Day alone is not so bad. I think of past Christmases we shared. They weren’t joyful. There was no heavenly peace for me. You never liked my gifts to you. You didn’t like me. In your drunken rages, you would taunt me, belittle me, even abuse me. All those family holiday gatherings where I had to explain away my bruises while you made yourself the big man, the life of the party. Then you put me in the hospital. The cops hauled you away. Yeah, my testimony at the trial put you in prison. I know you’ll be out soon. But you won’t find me. My life is measured one day at a time. Without you, I’ll at least enjoy one more Christmas…
Mom and Dad are so lame! They don’t understand what it’s like being a teenager. They don’t know the pressure my friends put on me. School is so boring, I hate it! No way I could ever use what they try to teach. Why can’t I just leave? The other girls in my school get to do whatever they want, but not me. Christmas sucks around here! Everyone’s a hypocrite! Why do we have to go to church services? It’s all about buying and greed and commercialism; What a rip-off! I can’t wait until next year, I’ll be 18 and on my own, then I can leave, after just one more Christmas…
We had so many dreams, so many plans. You were my man and life held so much promise. The pandemic came but we were young; we felt safe. So many got sick, but they recovered. We knew it could be serious, but it was the elderly or those already ill who were at risk. When a vaccine was announced, we felt even safer. The holidays were in full swing and we celebrated with our friends. Who knew we could still catch covid-19? I caught it, and then you came down with it as well. It barely affected me, but you got sicker. A week before Christmas you went into the hospital. You could barely breathe. I wanted to tell you how much I loved you, but they took you away before I could. You passed three days later. I miss you so much! I would give anything for just one more Christmas…
The snowstorm kept our children and grandkids from visiting us this year. We’ll miss them, but better they stay safe at home. We’ve seen our share of Christmases, snow and cold, bad times and good during our 48 years together. So many of our friends are gone now. I know we’re lucky to have made it this far. I see the signs, though. You’re starting to slip away. You always stayed in shape physically, but your mind isn’t doing that well. You took care of us when we were younger, now it’s my turn to be strong for you. I’ll be there for you, whatever happens, because I’m your wife. We’ve got each other still, even if it’s just for one more Christmas.