It’s Only My Opinion
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Daytime’s most outspoken columnist!
■ There’s an art to keeping characters alive off screen so they can pop in from time to time to cause trouble.
■ It helps if they’re in a core family, like Y&R’S Traci Abbott, who turned the gas on in a heartbreaking 1984 suicide attempt. Cricket found Traci and called Danny — instead of 911 — which is peak soap opera.
Danny: “Oh, God, she tried to kill herself!”
Traci came to and begged Danny not to tell her family. He married her instead to give her baby (fathered by her college professor) a name. Traci miscarried and life went on. There’ve been long stretches of time when Traci didn’t appear at all (1997-98, 2002-05) and she’s been recurring for years, but she is still the beating heart of the Abbott family.
Traci’s vital stepmother, Jill, also bounces in and out, and her sister Ashley remains a major player despite similar long absences and three different portrayers. Ash bounced between the loony bin and Paris for awhile, but always managed to drop in whenever Victor married Nikki or Jack was reuniting with Phyllis. Ashley (to Jack): “I’m concerned about your personal life.”
Phyllis (entering): “Say it to my face.”
Good luck!y&r does two smart things with the prodigal Ashley: They mention her when she’s not around, and show how happy her family is when she returns.
■ Ashley popped up on a classic episode of B&B, too — to get engaged to Ridge!
Ash: “I’m so excited, I can’t wait to tell Abby.”
Ridge: “That reminds me, I’ve got to call R.J. and Hope.”
Wherefore art thou, R.J.? Okay, back to the action.
Ridge: “It’s going to be tough on Brooke. She had her hopes up.”
Cut to:
Brooke (to Nick): “I was blindsided. I saw a ring and thought it was for me.”
That is so Brooke. I had forgotten that Ashley was in a love triangle with Ridge and his stepson, Rick, which makes Ashley a utility player on two different shows. Ashley: “You must respect the ring.”
Rick: “Why, because it’s so big and ostentatious you could knock me unconscious? They say guys who buy rings like
There’s an art to keeping characters alive off screen.
that are compensating.” Ashley: “No more sneaking in the sauna!”
Next up: A confrontation with Rick’s mother.
Brooke: “Ridge and I are destined to be together.”
(Where have I heard that recently? Oh, right — Brooke said it about 100 times after Ridge took Shauna to Vegas.)
So, Ashley’s brief sojourn to L.A. in 2007 resulted in an affair with Brooke’s son Rick and an engagement to Brooke’s ex Ridge. That’s
what you call a productive trip.
Conversely, Thorne never really jelled, which is weird since he’s the only blood Forrester son. (Ridge was rewritten to have been fathered by Massimo Marone.) Blame a combination of weak storylines and four confusing recasts, including one that saw Thorne suddenly leave Forrester Creations to became a Broadway star.
On the other hand, Ridge’s half brother, Nick Marone, really lit up the place in the aughts (2003-12).
Nick (to Brooke): “Your life is like a soap opera.”
I miss him!
■ Speaking of Nick, er, Frisco, GH mentions him just enough to make a return possible but not enough to make it probable. Similar to Tracy Quartermaine, who went missing for a decade (19932003), save for a stretch in 1996, but returns often enough to stick her nose into G.H. and/ or Quartermaine business.
Ned: “Hello, Mother.”
Tracy (annoyed): “What!”
Ned: “Which word set you off? ‘Hello’ or ‘mother’?”
Tracy: “It’s not you. I’ve been dealing with the hospital board.”
Tracy was hampered by a series of unworthy husbands (Mitch Williams, Paul Hornsby, Anthony Zacchara) and a recast Dillon, but the through line of Ned’s exasperated love keeps his cranky mother in the messy Q mix.
Ditto Scotty Baldwin, who is a value-add no matter how long its been since we’ve seen him. His merit is particularly noticeable in reruns because even if we don’t remember the crime he’s prosecuting, we care about it.
Scotty (to Sonny re: Carly):
“Great girl. I can’t wait to get her up on the witness stand and have her tell the jury how you came to shoot your own wife in the head.”
Scotty (to Ric re: Liz):
“Crime doesn’t stop because you went to the mountains to get a little action.”
Scotty’s evolved into a very important strand in the fabric of PC. He should interact with Laura all the time now that she’s mayor so we can watch them play their complicated history (especially since it seems we won’t be getting any true classic episodes from the ’80s). Other characters they shouldn’t have to keep alive off screen include Laura’s husband, Dr. Kevin Collins (hello, GH is set in a hospital), and Mac Scorpio, the chief of detectives in a town riddled with shootings and crime.
■ DAYS goes a different route than the other soaps — they keep characters “dead” off screen. Jack, Patch, Nicole, Will, John, Abigail and Stefan all died but are still driving current story. And where would Salem be without Victor Kiriakis, miraculously resurrected after his “death” on Melaswen?
Eli: “If Kristen didn’t stick the knife through your chest, who did?”
Victor: “Maybe Vivian Alamain came to my house naked and I knifed myself.”
Ha!
The gold standard is Sami Brady, who left Salem in 2014 but still manages to drive story. When Sami’s daughter Allie came to town pregnant, her mom was on everyone’s mind.
Kate: “This situation is bad enough without you acting like Sami.”
Lucas: “I’m acting like her
father.” Nicole (to Allie): “Your mom tends to turn everything into a catastrophe.”
Ya think? Of course the true art of keeping characters alive off screen is to have them visit once in a while. Which reminds me ... here comes Sami!
■ Hey. It’s only my opinion.