What to say after handyman recommendation goes awry

Miss Manners

A while back, a friend asked me for a recommendation for a handyman, which I obliged. Apparently, she and the handyman spoke about a number of things to be fixed, but he only fixed a few.

I came to find out that the handyman saw other items that needed to be fixed, and did so without asking. My friend became quite upset and refused to pay for these additional items, one being a sink that he claims was in terrible condition. Apparently they went back and forth, and the handyman asked only to be paid for the materials used and not labor.

At this point, I became aware of the situation. I commented to her that although he overstepped a bit, he was being helpful and should be fully paid — especially since she was enjoying the fruits of his labor. She said she would think about it.

We never spoke of this again, but I then hired this man again for a small job and found out that she had refused to pay him. I was uncomfortable with him, and now her. Should I say something to my friend?

Let us review business etiquette. The customer determines what she will buy. By altering something he was not asked to touch, the handyman committed an ethical breach. That cancels out any genuine concern he may have felt about the sink — concern that was already suspect, since he expected financial gain for fixing it.

There is no requirement that your friend pay the handyman for his unsolicited time or expense. But there is also no prohibition against her doing so if a list of conditions is met: that, in retrospect, your friend is happy that the sink was done; that the work was done well; and that she believes the handyman’s intentions were pure. mask might also stifle those screams.

One of my dinner guests, after eating chicken piccata, rice, broccoli and salad, stated: “I couldn’t eat here every night or I would gain so much weight!” I said, “I don’t think so,” and he stated, “I’m just making conversation.” What do you think?

That he is not likely to make such a remark again. One way to stop a careless remark is to take it at face value. But you and Miss Manners both know that what your guest meant was not that your food is fattening, but that it is so good that he would not be able to control himself. So don’t be too hard on him.

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