It’s not hard to not-flirt

Dear Miss Manners: I am a divorced woman. An acquaintance who is a married man “waved” to me on social media.

How do I interpret this? Might it be an innocent hello, or is he inviting me to an online flirting relationship? Is it rude not to respond? I have no interest in flirting with a married man.

Gentle Reader: Then don’t?

While Miss Manners may not be well-versed on the secret codes of social media flirtation, she is certain that if it is not acceptable to do in real life (or IRL, as the young people call it), then it should not be replicated with icons.

A wave, therefore, seems perfectly innocuous. But of course, if its reciprocation is met with images of more suggestive body parts or items of produce, it can and should be shut down by the enemy of all things internet: silence.

Dear Miss Manners: The other day, my family went out to lunch, 15 total in our group. My niece and her husband said they were picking up the tab.

After lunch, the bill came, and my niece asked everyone to guess how much the lunch was. Her husband was appalled, as was I. I tried telling her it was rude to ask everyone to guess how much the bill was. To me it’s like saying, “See how much money we have.”

My niece said it was just a game. I told her game or not, it’s not OK; it’s rude.

Should my niece ask guests to guess the cost of the bill? Her husband said she always does this, and he’s embarrassed by it, but she won’t stop.

Gentle Reader: It is, Miss Manners assures you, rude to ask guests to guess how much gratitude they owe their hosts. And it certainly takes all of the graciousness out of the gesture.

If your niece enjoys guessing games so much, however, perhaps you can suggest that next time she tries to play, her husband say, “Ooooh fun! Now can we guess how much you weigh?”