Let other dog owners know your charge not as friendly

Dear Miss Manners:

I just started walking a friend’s three dogs while he’s atwork. They are very sweet animals, but one of them has difficulties interacting with other dogs. Even if she seems excited, she can snap and get protective when another dog gets really close.

I’m strong and calm enough to hold her in place safely, andwe specifically try to walk at times and on side streets that won’t havemany other people out with their animals. The problem is a single path through a local park.

Usually when we go, it’s more or less abandoned. It’s the only way back to the house that doesn’t involve a main roadwith sometimes dangerous traffic. And it’s almost impossible tomove offthe path onto the grass, which is what I’ve done with other anxious or excitable dogs in the past.

Despite all this, there have been occasions when someone has had their dog off-leash and tried to engineer a meet-and-greet. By “engineer,” I mean their dog was already muchcloser to us than the owners, and they called out cheerfully to let us know that their dog was friendly.

What is the polite way to approach this situation? The last dogs Iwalked were very small, so when someone else was being unsafe about letting theirs charge off-leash I could just pick the dogs up and carry them around the nearest corner or in the opposite direction.

But one of these dogs is almost 50 pounds, and while I can keep her at my heel in a bad situation, picking her up and walking off just isn’t an option. I’d rather just avoid these situations altogether, but when someone is being so friendly and oblivious while doing something so dangerous, I feel like a deer in the headlights.

The approaching owners communicated that their dogs are friendly. You need to communicate that yours (really, your friend’s), to your regret, are not.

Take a firm grip on the leash, lean back as if the dog is about to pull you forward, and tilt your head to one side with an apologetic shrug. This may work, but itmay not: In Miss Manners’ experience, dogs are often better at reading body language than their masters. If that is the case, call out, “I’m so sorry, but I’m the dog walker, and this one is not good around other dogs.”

Gentle reader: Dear Miss Manners:

I ama middle school teacher, and although we are not beginning classes in person, I cannot stop thinking about something that always bug sme at the beginning of the year.

Many ofmy students walk around campus with some type of earbuds in. It is an expectation of mine that when talking or listening, students take them out. This is because the other person cannot know whether the person with earbuds is listening to audio or to them.

I explain this to the students, and emphasize that it is an issue of showing respect to the person you are conversing with. They often fight back on this rule and insist that turning offthe audio when conversing is enough.

AmI missing the mark here? Do you think removing earbuds is something that shows respect or lack thereof?

Gentle reader: These students will also probably try to convince you that they can listen while playing video games and texting their friends, but the optics are still rude.

Proper etiquette is so often shown through symbolism. Taking one’s cap off in school provides no practical purpose, but it shows reverence for the institution. Demanding that ear pieces be removed when talking to others is entirely within your jurisdiction. It is your duty to teach your students respect. In fact, it is probably the most valuable and practical lesson they can learn.

Dear Miss Manners:

As an environmentally conscious person, I usually carry a stainless steel bottle ofwater wherever I go. When visiting other people, is it acceptable to carry my bottle in withme to stay hydrated, or should I leave it inmy car?

The latter. Presumably the least any host can provide you is water— in the original environmentally conscious receptacle: a glass— so bringing your own is not only disrespectful, but also redundant. Unless you mean to suggest that what you carry around with you is more potent than water, in which case Miss Manners fears that your host’s offense may turn instead to deep concern.

Gentle reader:

To send a question to the Miss Manners team of Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, go to miss manner s.com or write them c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.