A deranged, racist sex addict’s exotic hunt

When the Asian community hears of the aggravated murders of six Asian women and learns that a formerly deeply religious, white male who was addicted to sex and frequented massage parlors to satisfy his penchant for Asian women was the murderer, we need not read further, nor view his repulsive photo, to fill in the finer details.

Upon learning of this individual’s profile and disturbing background, such a despicable act fails to surprise us, nor does the evident racist intent behind the shootings. It was no coincidence that six of his eight victims were Asian women. While his community laments that one of theirs has somehow been led astray through his unfortunate sex addiction and his disconnection from God, we, conversely, see how the insidious objectification of Asian women, stereotyped as “exotic” and existing to please, was one of many contributing factors in this deranged individual’s planned massacre.

His apparent shame and remorse relating to his sick obsession with Asian women motivated his attempts to cleanse them from his surroundings and/or punish them in the hopes of ameliorating his own self-proclaimed sins. Yet, despite his obvious intent to harm, what understandably angers us is how he is portrayed by the Western media: as a victim of his personal issues. Rather than viewing it for what it was — a hate crime born of racism that is symptomatic of the stereotyped, hypersexualized portrayal of Asian women in western culture.

Growing up, despite my academic inclination, my outspoken nature and sociability meant that I didn’t quite fit the less sexualized, nerdy Asian stereotype. Accordingly, I have all too often encountered the unwanted attention of the fetishized male gaze. I’ve been asked by leering male strangers surrounded by their buddies at social gatherings if I’m from Thailand (with the implication that I therefore offer “happy ending” massages). I’ve been told countless times that I’m “exotic,” both in Australia and the United States. I’ve had older men in Whole Foods and out on the streets give me lascivious stares and try to strike up conversations that begin with whether I am from Japan. I’ve had a physician client outright tell me not to “take this the wrong way” but that I must be the “sexiest veterinarian” in the country, especially since I’m “exotic.” I’ve had a deeply religious, ultraconservative client twice my age write me a love letter detailing how “sexy” I am.

While I can only presume that such “compliments” are supposed to evoke my gushing appreciation, they instead result in embarrassment and discomfort. Like many Asian women, I am cognizant of this fetishized perception of us in society. Hence, however intended, such compliments feel almost reductive rather than genuine. And just for the record, I am from Australia, and my heritage is Malaysian Chinese. No happy endings, no geisha fantasies.

Recently, upon discussing a social media post I had written regarding the rise in hate crimes and violence toward Asian people living in America, associated with China being the origin of the pandemic, someone whom I had considered a friend alleged that racism doesn’t exist in America and that Democrats are simply making it into an issue. I was appalled by his ignorance, especially because I had considered him sufficiently well read. Here was a white man asserting to an Asian woman that there is no racism simply because it doesn’t affect him and therefore he can be willfully ignorant of it and even use it as a political weapon.

Moreover, it is such a testament to how much education is still needed regarding not only the prevalence of racism but the very presence of it at all. The fact that former President Donald Trump would publicly dub COVID-19 the “China flu,” and even go so far as to jokingly call it “kung flu,” is further evidence of what work needs to be done. There is much to be said when one can hold a position of the highest power and be comfortable enough to associate an entire culture with a contagion, the way a bully in the school grounds might insult an Asian classmate. It is essential to acknowledge what damaging events can transpire when these racist attitudes remain unaddressed and are instead fueled in drips and drabs by countless micro-aggressions.

Reducing Asian women to mere objects to satisfy the white male gaze is harmful. A former president making light of a deadly virus by dubbing it “kung flu,” is harmful. Ultimately, trivializing a racially motivated massacre by claiming this particular predator was merely having a “bad day” or that his general sex addiction was an inciting factor, instead of focusing on the underlying racial issue at hand, is insulting to my grieving community and to the memory of his victims and their ravaged families.