South Florida Sun-Sentinel (Sunday)
Billie Eilish grapples with her place in spotlight
Singer figuring out who she wants to be as a grown-up after surviving teen fame
Billie Eilish is crying on the cover of her new album. The lone teardrop isn’t obvious at first, shiny enough that it could just be part of her glittery makeup. Her eyes are blue and empty, staring vacantly into the distance. “Happier Than Ever,” read the words above her face.
Is this what fame has done to Eilish? Taken the air out of the lungs of the wunderkind? Stripped her of her Rainbow Brite hair colors and oversize tees and turned her into a blond pinup? Not entirely. But it’s complicated.
There was a moment not too long ago, admits the 19-year-old, when she was truly miserable. After her debut single, “Ocean Eyes,” became a viral hit on SoundCloud in 2015, she signed with Darkroom Records and landed a deal with Interscope. But she felt ill-equipped to deal with the sudden onslaught of attention. Which isn’t surprising, because the music industry didn’t see her coming either — a teen with such a distinctive look and sound that mass appeal was in no way inevitable.
“I hated going outside. I hated going to events. I hated being recognized. I hated the internet having a bunch of eyes on me. I just wanted to be doing teenager (stuff ),” says Eilish, who was 16 when she toured her four-times platinum debut album, “When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?” She grew depressed, and her body didn’t react well to the stress; she was constantly coming down with laryngitis or developing fevers. And she was surrounded by adults. The only people her age were in the audience, which had become both physically and emotionally untouchable.
So how did she end up ready for the recent release of her sophomore effort?
“Honestly, it took growing up a little bit. Literally, physically growing up — like the actual chemicals in my brain shifting,” she says.
Even though she’s technically an adult, Eilish is still figuring out who she wants to be as a grown-up. Between 17 and 19, she played Coachella, won seven Grammy Awards, wrote the theme song for a James Bond film and released an Apple TV+ documentary about her life. So when the pandemic hit, she finally had an opportunity to pause and “do the self-reflection I’ve never had the time for.” She began to think about what she’d been through “and how it affected me — how I actually feel about it all instead of just doing it.”
Maggie Baird suggested to her two kids that they use the unexpected free time as an opportunity to create new music.
“My mom was, like, ‘What if you guys had a schedule where Billie came over and you worked three days a week?’ ” said Finneas O’Connell, 23. “At first I was like, ‘I don’t think that’s needed.’ But she said, ‘Listen. Why don’t you just try it for one week? You don’t even have to make anything.’ And within the first week, we’d written and recorded ‘My Future.’ ”
That song — the album’s first single released last year — has Eilish dreamily fantasizing about the days ahead, wondering who she’ll become as she transitions away from girlhood. Lyrically, it’s lighter than a lot of the material on “Happier Than Ever,” a body of work that offers a picture of an artist grappling with her place in the spotlight.
Eilish somehow manages to talk about her disdain for fame without sounding totally obnoxious. She’s not overly self-conscious — she lets herself form opinions as she’s speaking — but also wants to be liked.
Eilish acknowledges that she has trouble ignoring the public’s opinion of her. She recently decided to stop reading the comments on her Instagram account, where she has 87.8 million followers. Her new plan is to go on the app only to post, forcing herself to exit immediately after doing so.
“Because otherwise I will spiral out,” she says. “There are some people, like my brother, who can get a text from someone he doesn’t like and delete it immediately. He won’t even read it. I can’t do that.”
Most of the negative comments, Eilish says, center on her body. From the moment she became famous, she wore clothing that purposefully hid her shape: long tunics, billowing pants, high-end sweatsuits. Her look was celebrated as anti-pop star, anti-male gaze.
In May, she revealed her newly blond hair on the cover of British Vogue, posing for the photo shoot in retro corsets and form-fitting lingerie. She was taken aback by the reaction: “Oh, my God! The new Billie!” she gasps in faux exasperation. The images weren’t meant to showcase a makeover but rather give a preview of the feeling she was going for with “Happier Than Ever.”
During the months they spent working on the album together, Finneas says his sister was pretty open with him. “The only way I can aid the lyrical process is if she’s being transparent with me. I’m not gonna write a good line for her if I don’t know what she’s going through.”
Sonically, he thinks Eilish’s voice has developed significantly: “It’s quantifiably gotten so much better. I’ve been blown away by how strong her voice is and how her use of it as an instrument has evolved.” During the writing process, Eilish said she drew upon artists like Marina Diamandis — previously known as Marina and the Diamonds and now as Marina — who channel eclectic voices in their singing.
“Marina and Lana Del Rey do that, and I’ve always loved that about them,” Eilish says. “They try new (stuff ) and don’t get scared of having a different voice or singing in character. … It doesn’t all have to be what you’re going through at that exact time.”
Finneas, meanwhile, urged Eilish to lean in to her vulnerability. He wanted to give her audience “something to empathize with and see themselves in” — something less theatrical, without a make-believe world. “I wanted this to be Billie’s album about Billie,” he said.
Eilish says she’s eager to get back in front of a crowd and see how fans respond to the new material. On Sept. 3, she’ll showcase all 16 tracks from the album in a Disney+ concert special. Then she’ll embark on a tour next year. She hopes her fans will respect how much she has been willing to share with them this time around — even if it leaves them with more questions than answers.
“Hopefully they’re grateful,” Eilish says. “I really want to be appreciated for it. Even though I come off as very open and bold, I don’t tell the internet (stuff ) about my actual life because I don’t think that anybody should, actually. That can make you go crazy when there’s (88) million people watching you.”