Thank-you note etiquette for gifts of any size

“I don’t understand why I have to write a thank-you note for a Christmas present. It was just a $5 gift card.”

Is this pitched battle with your children playing out in your house?

Thank-you notes seem to have all but disappeared in the age of emails and text messages. But parents, it’s worth putting your foot down and nagging your children to the bitter end to write a short note of thanks to the grandparents, aunts and uncles, and neighbors after the holiday gifts have been opened.

Consider it a lesson in gratitude, a lesson often neglected nowadays as we go about our harried lives.

A recent poll by the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan, found that only 25% of parents of children ages 4 to 10 regularly require their child to send thank-you cards. The hospital’s researchers called this a “missed opportunity to help children learn gratification.”

I don’t know if it’s a gender thing, but it sure seems like girls require less prompting than boys to get the thank-you note job done.

Anecdotally with my three kids, my daughter was the quickest to pick up the thank-you note habit after the holidays or a birthday. In fact, to this day, her thank-you notes hit the mailbox within days after opening a present.

A recent poll by the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan, found that only 25% of parents of children ages 4 to 10 regularly require their child to send thank-you cards.

Here’s how one mom taught her two young kids to express their thanks. Her kids cut up colorful construction paper into letters that spelled out “thank you” for the gift. Another mom used the carrot and stick approach: If a thank-you note wasn’t written by the end of holiday break, the gift went back in the box until the task was completed.

Here are a few other thank-you etiquette tips. The goal is to make this as painless as possible for your kids and, of course, for you!

Every gift — no matter how small — deserves a note of thanks. Think of it this way: At least the gift-giver will know the package actually arrived and wasn’t swooped up by a mailbox thief.

The note should always specifically mention the gift and how your child liked playing with it. If it’s money or a gift card, he or she should mention what they plan to do with it. This doesn’t need to be essay length; just a few words will do.

Store-bought or computer-generated cards are appropriate, even if you just have the kids sign their name using different-colored markers to a pre-written note.

Sending an email note of thanks works for me. I used to think an email was an easy way out rather than requiring some penmanship. But as long as the children are doing the writing, the message will be appreciated.

And to gift-givers, don’t be miffed if the thank-you letters from the kids are running a bit late. It’s the thought that counts.