FILM REVIEW Fighting multiple sclerosis, with style
As an actress, Selma Blair has never been the lead of a movie.
Until now, that is: The actress takes center stage in “Introducing, Selma Blair,” a genuinely touching and unflinching look at her ongoing bout with multiple sclerosis.
Blair was diagnosed with MS in August 2018. She announced it to the public a few months later the way we all share things these days: on Instagram. “Introducing” picks up from there, documenting Blair’s experimental stem cell treatment and following her through the COVID-19 pandemic and the loss of her mother.
Blair — her friends and family know her as Blair, her middle name at birth — is a brassy, outsized, open subject. She doesn’t put up a front for the camera. We see her holding it together and we see her falling apart, often within the span of a few breaths.
She showed both those sides at an Oscar party in 2019, arriving on the red carpet in a fabulous dress by Ralph & Russo, accented with a chic black cane. Following her diagnosis a few months prior, it was her grand public coming out party. She was stunning, all old Hollywood glamour, and her courage — appearing before all those cameras, showing the world she would not let her disease get the best of her — was inspiring.
But on that same red carpet, she became suddenly overwhelmed, and the moment got to her. It was all too much. She needed help. And the paparazzi, rather than exploiting the moment, collectively put their cameras down and allowed her to take a moment to compose herself. It was a human moment, a relatable moment, a rare instance of the good shining through. And it was an example of how people are rooting for Selma Blair.
Director Rachel Fleit opens with Blair at her house in Los Angeles as she prepares to go on camera. Blair is selfaware, funny and free, a natural in front of the lens. She sits down for an interview and discusses her condition, her therapy dog on her lap. But as soon as the dog scoots away, Blair’s speech becomes broken, the words struggling to find their way out, a sign of how fragile her state is. Any change in her environment can trigger a reaction, and her frustration and her fear with her situation is both palpable and relatable.
“Introducing” doesn’t go back and tell Blair’s full story, but we learn enough, especially about her fraught relationship with her mother. Blair speaks of the dismissive ways her mom would pooh-pooh Blair’s career accomplishments, and the resentment that caused between them. Blair — a mother herself, to her young son Arthur — still loved her mother deeply, but like most things in the movie, there’s no time or place for sugarcoating them to make them go down easier.
From the film, Blair emerges a figure of strength and vulnerability, of honesty and openness. There are specifics about her treatment on which Fleit focuses but overall the film is more about the journey of the person at its center. And that person, undoubtedly, is a star.
Starting on a new dating app or website can feel like New Year’s Day (usually without the hangover), and there are a ton of possibilities ahead. You can’t help but be a little giddy with hope and excitement. You set up your profile, pick your best photos and start narrowing down your search criteria to find your ideal partner.
But like a new year, the sense of disappointment often sets in a few weeks later. Just like slipping back into old habits after making a resolution, you start to see the same potential matches over and over again … and you start to wonder why you thought this might work.
Online dating is definitely a roller-coaster of emotions. But at the end of the day, you’re in control of this ride — and although it seems daunting, you might need to expand your search criteria a bit.
When I am looking at matches for a client, I start by searching for their ideal partner, from their preferred height to proximity. But those specific and narrow parameters often yield just a handful of results. And, unfortunately, you can’t custom order your life partner.
If the dating app or website you’re using is showing the same results, it’s time to start thinking about how you can cast a wider net. Think about what you can compromise a little on — maybe you don’t mind a man who is 5-foot-11 rather than 1 inch taller, or you can be a little flexible on age — and change your search criteria just a little bit at a time. You’d be surprised how these simple expansions can result in showing new profiles.
One thing I’d also recommend is expanding your location settings. If I told you the love of your life lives 35 miles away instead of 30, you’d happily drive the extra five minutes in the car, right? Or if you live in a mostly suburban or rural area, you might need to search in the nearest city for a lot more options. It feels like a first date isn’t worth a lot of traveling time, but if it results in the last first date, I promise the extra time on a train, bus or car is worthwhile.
But for each person, there are a few nonnegotiables. Maybe you would never date a smoker, but someone might be honest and mark that they smoke but are trying to quit, and you have to keep those things in mind when searching. Or perhaps you’d like someone who shares your religion, which is completely understandable. However, plenty of people convert to a new religion to match their spouse or don’t mind if their partner practices a religion that they are not a part of. You just never know until you’ve had a few conversations.
It’s easy to become frustrated with the seeming lack of options in the online dating world, but it’s not so hard to give someone who doesn’t tick every single box a chance to impress you. Keeping an open mind is essential. So widen those search boundaries, give those repeating profiles a second look, and realize that maybe even you don’t know exactly what you want.