Decision? The readers’ verdict is in
I sat down with the owner of ShopRite Milford for a face-to-face following my column that alleged his employees discriminated against me when I went through the self-checkout lane.
I say “alleged” because the column, “Verdict? The readers’ court is open,” left it to readers to decide whether I was the victim of discrimination.
Their verdict? The majority says guilty.
And the vote did come with exclamation points.
The first verdict I received was just after the clock struck midnight and rolled into Sunday from a reader in Bethel.
“It does not sound like you imagined the discrimination, and the manager’s response was certainly despicable. I shall no longer do business at Shop Rite. Is there a public place for your supporters to post that decision?”
And readers did not veer too far from that opinion. Since this is their verdict, here is a sampling of what some of you said:
Milford: “I don’t know how they will reconcile this issue of wrg doing but it should make a statement in our NH Register (response).”
Guilford: “My letter to the president of Shop-Rite is in the mail along with the clip of your original column, Jim. I hope you’re receiving many e-mails of support.”
Stratford: “Shop-Rite is probably loath to review and/or release any video they may have clearly fearing it could lead to a wellfounded discrimination suit on your part.”
New Haven: “I think that instead of being a case of ‘either/or’, it’s probably a case of ‘both/and’. From your account, it is obvious that you were singled out for extra surveillance because of your skin color. The store employees involved were probably just doing what their manager had told them to do.”
Shelton: “Sorry, but as an old white woman who rarely gets ‘dolled up’ to go to the grocery store anymore, I feel that I have been ‘watched’ many times at Shoprite AND Stop and Shop (more so at S&S).”
Orange: “It’s with sadness and anger that I read your column today regarding your trip to Shop Rite in Milford in February. There’s no doubt in my mind that you were racially profiled.”
Cromwell: “I have never written to or about anything printed in the newspaper but your commentary got me to thinking [the purpose of the piece?] and being a White male, 72 year’s of age, puts me in the position of being completely unable to think clearly about what it means to be Black in America.”
Trumbull: “No, you were not seeing ghosts. It was racism for sure (based on how your described the situation). For 200 years, white people have been taught (subtly and rarely voiced outright) to fear Blacks. This is where change is needed.”
Trader Joe’s employees: “Come shop at Traderjoes in Orange. We will take care of you.”
Wallingford: “I read your article and, based on the facts as you present them, Shoprite did discriminate against you. The part that I find most odious was Shoprite’s response letter to you.”
And though readers were overwhelmingly on my side, one reader went a step further:
North Haven: “… I have always respected your opinions. I have never had to ‘walk in your shoes’ and therefore listen to you intensely. So please understand that when I ask my question of you I sincerely want to understand your perspective on the issue. My question is: If you owned the grocery store In question and you experienced a ‘pattern’ of observed shop-lifting, how (do) you deploy your ‘theft loss’ personnel in your store, and how would you instruct them to execute their responsibilities?”
My response was to “let the cameras do their job. They’re throughout the store. There is no reason to use employees. They can’t arrest anyone and any thief would surely attack them to escape. If I am stealing, the camera will note that and produce a photo that can be turned over to police.”
So, I knew the verdict when I sat across from Harry Garafalo in his office at ShopRite Milford July 8.
I didn’t look forward to meeting him because sitdowns like these are always awkward and tense when race and discrimination are the offenders on trial.
The accused steels himself to look directly in your eyes as he apologizes, decries what happened and assures this incident was an aberration, not policy; and I, as the aggrieved, pour water over my anger as I listen and blister at the indignity of having to sit through it. It’s almost as though I end up consoling the other person for my having dared to call them out.
But I had had my say and it was his time to talk, his moment to convince me that the discrimination I experienced was an isolated incident.
We talked, he said all the right words, but he did not convince me — because I have long believed that management is a reflection of a directive by the owner.
And there have been too many incidents in too many places for me not to recognize it for what it is. To me, it is as clear as the contrasting topstitching on a 1970s leisure suit.
Garafalo did take action, as he said he would. A week after our meeting, he emailed me that he was taking the following steps:
“We ... plan to re-train the staff on self scan procedures and customer assistance in these areas, we will begin to put plans in place this coming week.
“Both our company Front-end Supervisor and an HR representative will be responsible for this task of spearheading the training programs.
“Also, as discussed we are looking into some outside companies to assist in our store training processes including the management team.
“Again, I appreciate you taking the time to come down and speak with me this past week. Let me know if you would be interested in a follow up meeting in the future.”
So, there you have it. A predictable end to an ugly situation.
The readers found ShopRite Milford guilty and so do I.
But I don’t hold ill-will against Garafalo. I don’t know him and some of my readers speak very highly of him and his family.
When it comes to discrimination, I do my best to look at the issue from both sides — but sometimes those sides collide.
Hopefully, the changes at ShopRite Milford will help others from experiencing what happened to me.
But I can’t say taking the high road always leads to a plateau. Sometimes, it can be a real downer.
Because no matter what, no matter how nicely it comes wrapped in explanation and revisions, nothing erases singled-out humiliation.
Nothing.
So, somehow, I feel like I’m a loser in the end.
Decision? The readers’ verdict is in.