Patricia C. Phillips

Pat died peacefully at home surrounded by family on December 8, 2020. She was 80 years old.

Pat will be remembered for a lifetime of service in support of the homeless, the hungry, the poor, the young and old with compassion and a genuine determination to help struggling individuals and families rise out of poverty toward self-sufficiency. She put her stamp on volunteerism wherever she went. An advocate for the less fortunate, she worked tirelessly for half a dozen nonprofit organizations in Stamford, Darien, and Norwalk over four decades.

Claire Patricia Cole was born on March 17th, 1940 at the Margaret Hague Hospital in Jersey City, NJ to George and Clara Cole. Growing up she attended Catholic schools in New Jersey and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism from Duquesne University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. While an undergraduate, she helped found a sorority and started her own radio show.

Pat moved to New York City in 1963 to work for Western Publishing, known for its “Little Golden Books” line of children’s stories. She also had the opportunity to work with some of the company’s leading authors including Richard Scarry and Agnes DeMille.

In 1965, she married her husband Bob at the Church of Transfiguration, “The Little Church Around the Corner’’ in New York City. They settled on Manhattan’s Upper East Side where they often walked to work together, traveled extensively, and where Pat’s passion for volunteerism was ignited at The Henry Street Settlement. Their son Graham was born in 1970 at Doctors Hospital just as they were moving into the Ballou family house in Montclair, New Jersey where Pat undertook the renovations of the late 19th century Victorian home. Lora was born in 1972 at Mountainside Hospital in Glen Ridge, New Jersey. In Montclair, Pat’s commitment to others expanded. Here she learned to manage a household, raise children, and continue her service to the community with the Junior League all while maintaining a social calendar with family and friends. Her amazing ability to set and uphold the highest standards for herself would continue for the rest of her life. In 1974, a new chapter began as the family moved to Shippan Point in Stamford.

The family’s move to Stamford met Pat’s desire to live in a culturally diverse community and in a home that would accommodate Ballou family furnishings, history, and tradition. Her desire to preserve family history influenced many actions throughout their time in Stamford. A culminating example of this dedication was the collection and exhibition of Lora Ballou paintings in Stamford’s Old Town Hall. This association led to her support of the Loft Artists Association located in Stamford’s South End and the establishment of the Phillips Gallery on Pacific Street.

Pat championed the rights of and promoted safety for victims of domestic violence for nearly four decades. In 1979, she created Stamford’s Task Force on Domestic Violence, bringing together local police, government officials, hospitals, churches, and nonprofits to collectively address the issue. Instrumental in developing training programs and creating safe houses, she later founded and served on the board of Domestic Violence Services, now the DVCC.

As a member of the Junior League of Stamford/Norwalk, her public service commitment to support the people of Fairfield County began. Pat co-founded Pacific House Shelter for the Homeless, which began as a makeshift housing space in the basement of the First Congregational Church in Stamford. Under the sponsorship of The Council of Churches and Synagogues, the basement shelter served over 60 people a night. In July of 1985, a Board of Directors was formed and Shelter for the Homeless became an independent nonprofit service agency. In 2013, the Homeless Shelter of Stamford dedicated one of its homes The Patricia C. Phillips House in recognition of her unwavering leadership in support of this mission. During this time, Pat continued to balance her commitment to the community with her dedication to her family, as she raised her two children within Stamford’s community while directing or supporting numerous social service organizations. As her children grew and matured, Pat was continually transitioning between various boardrooms, school events, and her home, maintaining her high personal and professional standards wherever she found herself.

In November of 1983, Pat was presented with The National Council of Jewish Women’s coveted Hannah G. Solomon Award from the Stamford Section. This was just the first of many cascading awards, recognitions, and honors paralleling her continuous community involvement. These honors included, The Liberty Bell award from the Regional Bar Association, the Community Lifetime Award from the Council of Churches and Synagogues, the Community Leader of the Year from the Stamford Advocate, the Ray of Hope Award from the Shelter of Homeless in Stamford, the Lifetime Volunteer Achievement Award from the United Way of Western Connecticut and the Volunteer Center. Last month on the 40th anniversary of the founding of the DVCC, Pat received the first Founders Award. A portion of the ceremony is available online. (https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=GPc_ rFjRCRg)

The decade of the 90s, with Bob posted in London, brought a new era of travel and excitement for Pat. Their flat on London’s Sloane Street was a part-time home for many years and was frequented by family and friends as Pat managed, thanks to the Concorde, to maintain her involvement in Stamford to nonprofits while enjoying the social and cultural life of London and the European continent. The Proms Concert Series in London’s Albert Hall and long walks in Hyde Park were particular favorite activities that Pat and Bob would share. On the other side of the pond, with both Phillips children enrolled in the University of Vermont, their son Graham discovered lakefront property particularly suited for an Adirondack style vacation home for their outdoors-oriented recreation life spanning all seasons. This project was completed just in time for daughter Lora’s graduation in 1994, and for the next 25 years, Pat orchestrated family gatherings between their homes in Connecticut and Vermont. The arrival of grandchildren, starting in 2003 provided sufficient impetus for numerous holiday and vacation gatherings for this expanding New England-based family.

Pat loved to entertain. The stages for countless parties, family celebrations, and vacations were their homes on Long Island Sound and Lake Champlain, where water provided the backdrop and Pat provided the cheer with fantastic food, wine, and conversation. However, Pat was just as keen to bring the family and festivities on the road. In great cities, spectacular national parks, and beautiful mountain towns from coast to coast, Pat was happy to seek new adventures with her family. Pat also journeyed across the globe with her husband. Their expedition with the National Geographic Society in 2007 which took them around the world visiting six continents, exemplified Pat’s adventurous spirit. An epic family holiday came in the summer of 2017 when the Phillips and Gray families plus Nana and Grandad went on a two-week safari in South Africa. It was an amazing experience for all, aged 8 to 80, and one that every family member will always remember.

Pat is survived by her husband, Bob of 55 years, her son Graham, his wife Tara and two granddaughters, Charlotte (14) and Emma (11) of Rye, New Hampshire, and daughter Lora and her husband Robert, granddaughter Annabelle (16) and Grandson Peyton (15) of Londonderry, Vermont.

Funeral arrangements will be private and managed by Thomas Gallagher of Stamford. A Public celebration of her life will be planned sometime in the future when family and friends can safely gather to celebrate Pat’s life.

Donations in her name can be sent to Pacific House Shelter for the Homeless, 137 Henry Street, Stamford, CT 06902, Domestic Violence Crisis Center, 1111 Summer Street, Stamford, CT 06905, and Person-to-Person, 1864 Post Road, Darien, CT 06820.