Readers offer advice on finding love

Dear Amy: “Wondering,” said that he was in his late 50s. He wondered how to approach women to see if they were available, or whether he should stop looking.

My young but wise cousin and I had a conversation one time about meeting women. I asked him what I should do to meet women. His advice was, “Stop looking!”

He said that people can sense when somebody is desperate and that can be a big turn off. He also said to just be myself and strike up conversations with people with the intent of having fun — and not just expecting to meet a woman. This technique allows the real side of a person to shine and not the anxious “I have to meet somebody” side.

Once Wondering has a great conversation going in a relaxed atmosphere, upon departing simply ask if he can continue the conversation over coffee.

If the woman says no because she is spoken for, he should not assume it is over. She may have connections in her network and know a perfect match for him.

Two months after speaking to my cousin, my soon-tobe wife came into my life.

Happily Married

Dear Married: I have shared, and followed, your cousin’s advice, myself. However, he was not saying to stop looking altogether, but to simply relax and look in a different way. Connecting with people with a friendly and open attitude can lead to friendship (or more) and can also quite simply brighten another person’s day.

Dear Amy: For “Wondering,” the single male in his late 50s who wonders how to date again, I suggest volunteering for a charity or organization that is meaningful to him.

I met my husband that way 42 years ago. His conversation starter: “What inspired you to volunteer here?”

My response opened up a world of common interests that evolved into respect, love and a happy marriage. Worked for Us

Dear Worked: Volunteering is a good way to achieve multiple purposes: Doing good work and meeting other kind and generous people.

I’m focused on your husband’s first question to you. It is an ideal example of an open-ended question, designed to inspire a thoughtful response.