Separation weighs heavily on reader

Dear Abby: I’ve been separated from my wife for about four years, at her request. It was justified. I wasn’t the best husband. I wasn’t abusive, but I was sad and feeling sorry for myself, like now.

I took her for granted and didn’t show her the affection she deserved, but I have been going to therapy to work through issues that I had suppressed for decades that contributed to me being a bad husband. I wanted to try counseling with her, but she was done and refused, which I’m still saddened by.

As of today, she has a new boyfriend but still hasn’t filed for divorce. I’m struggling because she and her new boyfriend hang out with people I grew up with. It’s my own hang-up, I know, but it makes me feel embarrassed. I get upset when I see posts on Facebook with her and her boyfriend that my family have added heart emojis or nice comments to.

Am I wrong for feeling betrayed in some way? Is my estranged wife belittling me by not filing for divorce and hanging out with my friends and a new boyfriend? Are my friends and family betraying me by being friends with them?

Broken Beyond Repair

Dear Broken: If I read your letter correctly, your wife left because she could no longer cope with someone who was in a chronic state of depression, not because you were a “bad husband” or had some flaw in your character.

You should not feel embarrassed or humiliated because she has found a new relationship. Please discuss these feelings with your therapist so you can move beyond them.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend has an 8-year-old daughter who lives with us part time. Sometimes I watch her when her dad is out running errands or working.

There are times she acts like an entitled, spoiled brat. She’s rude and disrespectful, and when I ask her to do something, she doesn’t always do it. I can’t take it anymore. Although I have spoken with her dad about it, he has done nothing to correct the problem. Please tell me what to do.

Frustrated “Stepmom”

Dear Frustrated: The next time you are asked to watch your boyfriend’s daughter, decline and clearly state the reason why. Perhaps when it becomes inconvenient for him, he will act like a parent. If not, you may have to rethink the relationship.