Stamford Advocate

Parents demand the use of teen’s car

- Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or dearabby.com

Dear Abby: I am a 16-yearold girl. My mom’s car broke down and she needed to use mine, which is understand­able, and I agreed. However, I have a work schedule I have to stick to, and I need my car to get to and from. I pay all the bills for it, and the title is in my grandfathe­r’s name.

I asked her to let me use my car to get to and from work and for Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend. She seemed extremely upset by it, and now she and my stepdad continuall­y tell me that should she EVER need the car, I have to give it to her. Her demand that I not use it the entire time hers is in the shop is unacceptab­le because I also have responsibi­lities.

How do I help her understand that while she can use it for work because that is important, when I need it after her work hours, I should be able to use it because I pay for it? Must I suck it up and let her continue using it (putting my relationsh­ip with my boyfriend at risk) or tell her the days I need it are absolute, and since it is my car, I will be using it?

Confused

Dear Confused: While I agree with the concept of “yours” and “mine,” there are times when family has to pull together. On the grand scale of things at this point, your mom’s responsibi­lities as an adult are more important than your love life. If your boyfriend thinks so little of you that your being carless on a special occasion will destroy your relationsh­ip, then that relationsh­ip isn’t destined to last forever.

Do not attempt to lay down the law to your mother, or I guarantee you will not like the consequenc­es.

Dear Abby: There is this guy that I like a lot. I want to ask him out, but it recently came to my attention that we have a mutual ex-boyfriend. Should I bring it up or let it go? He is friends with our shared ex on Facebook, and I don’t know what to do.

Guy with a Crush in Pennsylvan­ia

Dear Guy: Once the quarantine and social distancing are lifted, ask him out.

When you do, I think it would be wise to disclose this informatio­n to your crush because it will become apparent soon enough.

If things move forward, there will likely be pictures posted on Facebook.

If you try to sweep it under the carpet, he will think you are doing it because you have something to hide. Introduce the subject this way: “Small world, isn’t it?”

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