Wife’s snooping reveals man’s secrets

Dear Abby: I just found out my husband has been looking at escorts in the local area. I know he has watched porn, but that never bothered me.

When I confronted him about seeing his search for escorts, he said he just clicked on a link that popped up on a porn site. (I have seen them, so I know it can happen.)

However, I now know he created another email address and joined an escort review site.

I can’t say anything to him because I snooped on his phone. I’m heartbroken and want to believe him, but this is too much.

Please help me.

Nervous in New Jersey

Dear Nervous: First things first. Call your doctor and make an appointment to be checked for STDs. Next, because you know your husband hasn’t been truthful, do more “snooping.”

Learn everything you can about your family finances (if you don’t already know), the debts and assets, credit card expenses, bank account numbers, etc.

Once you have that information and there will be no surprises, tell your husband you checked his phone AND WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO DO IT. Do not allow him to make you feel guilty.

Ask him what he is getting from escorts that he isn’t getting from you, and if the only answer he can come up with is “variety,” talk to a lawyer because your exclusive marital relationship is history.

Dear Abby: Our son “Leo,” 24, has bipolar/schizoaffective disorder. He is single, lives 2,000 miles from us and is homeless. He refuses treatment.

I see him about every three months when I go and find him. His relationship with his dad, my husband, is not good. My husband has made many approaches to Leo, but our son rejects him.

My husband told me that when he dies, I should not say anything to Leo, and he wants me to agree on that. I agreed, but I think that is too hard.

Do you think my husband is right on that request? Problem Family in Puerto Rico

Dear Problem Family:

Yes, I do. Your husband is being realistic, having made repeated approaches to Leo and being rejected.

When he’s gone, your son won’t miss him, so please respect your husband’s wishes if it will bring him peace of mind.