Crush’s mixed signals confuse friend
Dear Abby: I’m a lesbian. There’s a girl I have liked for a little over a month. We are like best friends. When I told her I was attracted to her, she basically friend-zoned me, which hurt. Then she told a mutual friend she was considering being “friends with benefits” with me, and I got excited. Well, she changed her mind again because she was afraid it would be awkward.
I still have a crush on her, but I value our friendship. We spend so much time together, and things are easy but also challenging because I just want to grab her and kiss her. We snuggle all the time, and she gives me hugs every day (we live in the same dormitory). I want to make out with her. These mixed signals are killing me. What do I do?
Dazed & Confused in Florida
Dear Dazed: You’re right. This young woman is giving you mixed signals. That’s why you should put her firmly in YOUR friend zone. Stop the hugging and snuggling and move on, so you can find someone who reciprocates your feelings. (Absence has been known to make the heart grow fonder.) Perhaps when she realizes that you are capable of moving on, her feelings for you will change. However, if they don’t, you will have lost nothing but more heartache.
Dear Abby: Recently, my dear mother-in-law passed away. While writing her obituary, it was a challenge to hunt down accurate dates and family information. Many family members chimed in with conflicting information. To prevent this confusion in the future, would it be tactless to ask relatives for some of this information ahead of time? If so, how would you go about writing something on this topic without offending someone?
Wondering in Michigan
Dear Wondering: What you have in mind is practical. If you have a relationship with these relatives, why not bring some of these questions up in normal conversation? (I assume you know where they were born.) To ask when people graduated from high school or college isn’t intrusive. What year someone was married isn’t classified information either. If you simply start talking, you may find out much of the information you are after.
P.S. If your relatives are willing to make the effort to write down their own stories, it could be compiled into a precious family history.