Spiteful ex causes legal nightmares
Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We share a daughter. I have a son with my abusive ex. My boyfriend had a hard life and was a troubled youth. He has changed his life, but because of a call from my ex, the state picked up his most recent charge from four years ago, and he is now facing prison time for a crime he did not commit.
We are both devastated. He has become withdrawn and is now at a paranoid level of distrusting. I know he has every right to be upset. But after six months of urging him to seek professional help and fearing he regrets being with me, I’m wondering if I’m doing myself a disservice by not seeking happiness elsewhere. What should I do?
In a Corner in Wisconsin
Dear In A Corner: You are in a difficult situation, but don’t cut and run just yet. Advise your boyfriend that reclaiming his future may require the help of a criminal defense attorney. Then help him find one who will take his case and defend him if the need arises. And, maintain as much distance as you can from your ex.
Dear Abby: I’ve had a male friend, “Herb,” for more than 35 years. He has helped me a lot with things such as repairs at my home. Many years ago, I became pregnant, but the baby’s father and I didn’t end up together. When Herb offered to marry me and raise my child as his own, that’s when I realized he had feelings for me. I explained that this was kind, but I could not reciprocate his feelings.
Over the past 10 years, Herb has become touchyfeely, and it makes me very uncomfortable. He will kiss me on my forehead or come from behind me and hold me or hug me while rubbing my back. I have told him how it makes me feel and he laughs it off. He also makes remarks like, “Oh, I’ve never been in your bedroom,” or while we’re on the phone he tells me he is in bed and we are having pillow talk. What can I do? He’s been a good friend, and I hate to lose his friendship, but I really don’t know what else I can say to him to make him understand how he makes me feel.
Too Friendly in Ohio
Dear Too Friendly: When Herb gives you an unwanted kiss or hug, tell him you do not enjoy it and you don’t want it to happen again. If he brings up the subject of your bedroom or alludes to pillow talk during a phone call, get off the phone immediately. (“Gotta go now!”)