Husband won’t stick up for wife, child

Dear Abby: My mother-inlaw has hated me since the first time she met me because I’m not from the country but from “the city.” I have given her gifts for birthdays and holidays and invited her on day trips with us, but she always refuses.

She also makes up lies about me. She claims I have STDs, spend all her son’s money, etc. She even spread a rumor that I wouldn’t allow her at our wedding. She lives 46 miles away and, in the five years we have been married, has never once visited her son.

Our child and I aren’t even allowed in her home. We have to sit in the car. She acts like our child doesn’t exist. My husband sees nothing wrong with her behavior and says he “won’t take sides.” I don’t know what to do.

Peeved in Pennsylvania

Dear Peeved: While your husband refuses to recognize there is anything wrong with his mother’s behavior, it is off the charts. I hope you realize that most men stand up for their wives and children when they are mistreated.

Because you can’t change your husband or his witch of a mother, and you made no mention of leaving the marriage, you will simply have to adjust to it. Start by planning an activity you and your child can enjoy while your husband is visiting his mom, rather than sitting for hours in the car. Even better, arrange “other” transportation for your husband.

Dear Abby: I’m a 24-yearold woman who has been in a relationship with a man for seven years. “Ken” is 27 years older than I am. I love him, but I have always been slightly confused about my relationship with him. Lately, I have been feeling my love for Ken isn’t enough for what he truly deserves.

I am comfortable with us and our life. But recently I have realized that I want to be on my own, alone, and not in a relationship. I feel a strong desire to focus on me, so I can grow into the person I envision myself being. Any advice besides the obvious — my leaving the relationship?

Wanting More in Wisconsin

Dear Wanting: Many women would be glad to live their life in a relationship that has all the positive qualities that yours has with Ken. I am sure you both will discover this when you move on. However, since you asked my advice, talk this through with a licensed relationship counselor before making any final decision.