Abuser menaces wife living in shelter
Dear Abby: I am the mother of two small children. I have separated from their verbally abusive, alcoholic father. I returned to my grandmother, who raised me, and tried to get a job. I couldn’t find one quickly because we went into quarantine and my uncles made me move out.
I currently live in a women’s shelter with my children, and I finally got a job. My problem is my husband still acts like we are getting back together, and he’s embarrassed that we are living here. I want a divorce, but he threatens not to send money to support me and the children.
He keeps telling me how much money he makes now and that he can get us a nice place where he is, or he can come stay a whole week with us when he’s off. I don’t want him to come stay with us. When I tell him this, he gets angry and hangs up, but then calls back the next day to say the same thing. I can’t get him to understand that I don’t want to be with him anymore.
Any advice?
Done For Good
Dear Done: Your husband persists the way he has been because he’s trying to wear you down to the point that you will reunite with him. Perhaps you should accept fewer of those phone calls. If there are social workers connected to the shelter you’re staying in, consult them about your predicament.
Your husband cannot shirk paying child support. If he doesn’t do it voluntarily, his wages can be garnished.
Dear Abby: Our only son has moved 2,000 miles away and has no contact with his sisters or me. I know his
street address and still have his email address and phone number. About 10 years ago, when I was separated from his father, we were both expressing our angst, and I more than likely negated his feelings in an email. I ran across it the other day, and now realize that it may have caused the rift. Should I bring that up in an apology now? If so, what do I say?
Heartbroken Mom in Texas
Dear Mom: Write your son and tell him you are trying to understand what has caused the rift between you. Explain that you found the email from so long ago. Tell him that if this is what caused it, you sincerely apologize, but that you were both going through a difficult time when the email was written, that you love him and hope he will forgive you if it caused him pain.