Merrill Jay Forgotson
Bank Leader Made His Life Count
Merrill Jay Forgotson – beloved husband, father, grandfather, accomplished community banker and fierce advocate for justice and equal opportunity – died peacefully in his sleep on Wednesday, January 17, 2024 at his home in Westport, Connecticut. He was 81 years old.
Jay was born in New York City in 1942, the first child of Donald and Roslyn Forgotson. His parents instilled in him the values of hard work, education, honesty, patriotism, and community involvement. He credited his adoring mother and father, a World War II hero, for challenging him to lead a life of purpose.
This journey centered on education. Jay earned a B.S. in finance from Northeastern University followed by a J.D. from Boston University and an M.B.A. from Western New England College.
Jay paid his way through college and law school by washing dishes, serving ice cream, and packaging newspapers and magazines overnight for early morning delivery.
Motivated by the U.S. Supreme Court's landmark decision in Gideon v. Wainright in 1963, which affirmed a constitutional right to legal counsel for anyone charged with committing a crime, Jay started his career as a defense attorney, working for Joe Balliro, Sr., who was known as the “Dean of the Boston Bar.”
Jay then transitioned into finance, starting at Mass Mutual and advancing to become General Counsel at Barclays Business Credit.
In 1990, Jay joined People's Bank (now People's United Financial) as Senior Vice President/Chief Credit Administration Officer. During this time, Jay also served as Chairman of the Connecticut Anti-Defamation League, where he shaped diversity programming to combat hate and discrimination in all their forms.
In 2000, Jay sacrificed promising promotions at People's to run Cornerstone Bank in Stamford, Connecticut, whose founder, Norman Reader, his cherished fatherin-law, had recently taken ill.
Running Cornerstone Bank, a highly profitable mission-centered community depository, was one of the joys of his professional life. Cornerstone Bank was sold to New Alliance Bank in 2005.
During a brief sabbatical from community banking, Jay served as the Dean of the Business School at the University of Bridgeport. But community banking kept calling. Jay served as CEO of BNC Financial Group, accelerating the growth of its subsidiary, the Bank of New Canaan and starting the Bank of Fairfield and Stamford First Bank (BNC Financial has since rebranded as Bankwell Financial Group).
Jay retired in 2013. The next decade was spent enjoying family and friends in Connecticut and Sarasota, Florida; volunteering his talents to several non-profits; consuming current events and advocating for fairness; photographing sunsets over the ocean, and basking in blue skies and sunshine.
Jay is survived by his loving wife, Janis ReaderForgotson; his sons, Nathaniel, Josh, and Matthew; five grandchildren (Evan, Ianto, Floriana, Zachary, and Benjamin); and his two dogs, Lola and Cimba. He is pre-deceased by his younger sister, Barbara Garavuso, and his parents, Donald and Roslyn Forgotson.
Donations, in lieu of flowers, can be made to Connecticut ADL.
A Memorial Service will be held at 12:30 p.m. on Sunday, January 21, 2024 at Temple Shalom in Norwalk, Connecticut.
May we always remember Jay's charge, “We don't do it because it comes back. We do it because it's right.”