Here is the right solution to Tallahassee mess

When I was very young and did very stupid things — an almost daily occurrence — my parents would discipline me accordingly.

If I got upset with the discipline — no TV, no playing ball outside that day, whatever — or was just mad about something else, I would often stomp my feet and threaten to run away from home.

Poppa Stein always had the right answer for my threats.

“I’ll help you pack,” he’d say. “We’ll give you a bologna sandwich. The bus station is right down the street.”

I walked out the door a couple of times, but never left. I don’t know if my parents were thrilled or not, but I stayed under their roof.

I thought about that last week when Florida House Speaker Steve Crisafulli stomped his feet, sent his pals home and closed down the legislative session in a snit, mainly because he didn’t want to take more federal dollars to go for health care for poor people.

Or maybe Crisafulli was just in a hurry to leave Tallahassee so he’d be able to get in line for the new Avengers movie.

All the House members went home. Gov. Rick Scott, showing the tremendous leadership we have grown to expect from him, responded to this supposed crisis in Florida government by suing the Obama administration.

The Senate asked the House to come back to work. They refused.

Poppa Stein would have had the best answer to all of this dreck.

“Let them go,” he would have said. “Who needs them?” Who needs them indeed. If I ruled the world, I would let Crisafulli and his pals stay home. Let the Senate pass the few bills they can, and be done with it. Tell the truth — has anything in your life changed because the House walked out in a childish hissy fit? Have you been depressed, and wondering where you will turn next? Has your life lost all meaning? I didn’t think so. Considering how hard they’ve worked to screw things up, it’s probably good they went home early.

Remember, these are the same lawmakers who left a lot of issues hanging, such as the aforementioned health care expansion favored by the Senate, but have taken plenty of time being the morality police. They have put more restrictions on abortion, they tried to make it harder for gays to adopt and they got all bent out of shape trying to limit people to using the bathroom of their biological sex at birth.

And, of course, they tried to make sure there was a gun on every square inch of Florida property, including schools.

Those are the things that took up a lot of lawmakers’ time. Thankfully, much of the lunacy won’t pass. And now we are supposed to be upset that the House took its ball and went home early? Please. The wasted legislative time surely contributed to the need to call a special session so lawmakers can get their constitutionally required budget finished. The special session could cost hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars. Some of those taxpayers, of course, are poor folks who very much need that health care expansion.

We do know that in due time the House members will decide to come back to work. They’ll be cozying up to lobbyists again, continue their constant work at getting re-elected, and try to convince us they are desperately needed so they can make our lives better.

I believe Poppa Stein would have had the proper solution to all of this. He would have shown these folks the door.

And I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have given any of them a bologna sandwich. Gary Stein can be reached at gstein@sunsentinel.com, or 954-356-4616. On Twitter@SSEditorial.