… SO STOP WITH THE APOLOGIES AT WORK

IT CAN NEGATIVELY IMPACT HOW YOU’RE VIEWED BY PEERS

If you’re uttering “I’m sorry” all the time in a professional setting, it can have a lasting impact on your career.

“I believe workers fall into this trap of saying ‘I’m sorry,’ because they want everyone to be happy,” says Heather Neisen, HR manager at Technology Advice. “Saying ‘I’m sorry’ to even a minor issue is what we are taught to do when we are very young. In the workplace, there’s a sense that to be liked and respected you need to make sure everyone is happy. If an issue arises though, most likely the first thing someone will say is ‘I’m sorry.’ Wanting to make sure everyone is happy is a huge burden to bear and it’s frankly impossible to control other people’s emotions.”

The pre-apology. It’s one thing to apologize for genuine wrongdoing, but it’s another to do it when you’re afraid you’re inconveniencing someone by challenging an idea. This is what Karin Hurt, CEO of Let’s Grow Leaders, calls the “preapology.” According to Hurt, examples of the “pre-apology” include:

• “I’m so sorry to take up so much of your time, but I have an idea.” • “I’m sorry, this is probably not what you’re looking for, but here’s the spreadsheet you asked for.” • “I’m sorry I couldn’t have spent more time on it.”

“The tragedy is that what often follows is a great idea or terrific work. However, it may not be viewed from this lens if you’ve already apologized for it being substandard,” Hurt says.

The impact on your career. Neisen says that constantly apologizing can harm your career for several reasons. “Overall, this can negatively impact a career because it can cause either burnout (due to stress) or it could potentially cause an employee to make poor decisions based on emotions and what others prefer instead of what is best for him or her. Additionally, apologizing all the time will tend to make others think that you are not confident or not sure of your decisions. Ultimately, this can weaken someone’s ability to lead well.”