Seth Meyers
David Letterman
The Tony Awards were announced. Nominees included “You Can’t Take It With You,” “The King and I,” and “On the Town.” I’m telling you, it’s been a great year for Broadway. Unfortunately, the year is 1944.
Once again, “The Late Show” was nominated for a Tony Award. Yes, in the category “Biggest waste of a Broadway theater.”
It’s a beautiful day in New York City. It’s sunny and 73, like me.
In Baltimore today, the Orioles and the Chicago White Sox played a baseball game. Nobody was allowed in the ballpark. It was eerily quiet. The players had to heckle themselves.
The issue of gay marriage has reached the Supreme Court and observers are analyzing every detail to predict how each justice will vote. Experts say Chief Justice John Roberts is likely to rule in favor of gay marriage based on the fact that he spent Tuesday’s hearings watching the Tony Award nominations.
Conan O’Brien
The big story is Bruce Jenner. In last week’s interview, Jenner said he’s a woman who is transitioning his body from male to female, and he’s also a conservative Republican. Bruce said he looks forward to bashing Obamacare as soon as he finishes using it.
A U.N. study claims the happiest country in the world is Switzerland. When asked why they’re so happy, Swiss people couldn’t answer because their hands were counting money and their mouths were full of chocolate.
Due to civil unrest in Baltimore, tomorrow’s game between the Orioles and the White Sox will be played to an empty stadium. When asked for comments, players on the Milwaukee Brewers said, “You get used to it.”
Tomorrow is the start of the NFL Draft. This year it will be simulcast on ESPN and Court TV.
Ford has recalled almost 600,000 vehicles for steering problems. Owners are being told to bring their cars in as close to the dealership as they can get it.
A new survey has found that people in Ireland tell an average of four white lies per day. And three of them are, “I’m fine to drive home.”
Hillary Clinton has temporarily changed her campaign logo to rainbow colors in support of marriage equality. Of course, her idea of marriage equality is both of you should get to be president.
Starbucks has a new S’mores Frappuccino, which became available today. It’s perfect for those people looking to gain s’more weight.
It was such a nice day today that President Obama left the White House and went for a walk around the neighborhood. Even more amazing, THIS is the first the Secret Service is hearing about it.
Jimmy Fallon
The royal baby is expected to arrive sometime this weekend, and some people are actually camping outside the hospital in hopes of seeing it. So if you want to be the first to find out what the royal baby looks like, just look at a photo of any baby.
Miami Dolphins lineman A.J. Francis just tweeted that he has signed up to be an Uber driver during the offseason. But since he’s with the Dolphins he can only drive 15 yards before he has to punt.
In a two-hour interview last Friday, Bruce Jenner told ABC’s Diane Sawyer, “For all intents and purposes, I’m a woman.” At which point, Joe Biden ran in and started giving Bruce a shoulder rub.
Many believe that Hillary Clinton was channeling President Obama during her recent speech in New York City. She focused on equality, justice, and how hard it was for her growing up as a young black man in Hawaii.
Hillary Clinton wrote an Op-Ed for a paper in Iowa about her plans to help the middle class. Middle-class Americans said, “Why didn’t you just say that in a speech?” and she said, “Because I charge $200,000 for a speech.”
BlackBerry is being criticized after it misspelled the word “won” in an ad celebrating a design award. Instead of w-o-n they put o-n-e. BlackBerry apologized for the spelling mistake and promised the person responsible has been fried.