Advocates speak on Pulse

Helping shooting victims was ‘surreal,’ one woman said

Lauren Portal FloridaHospital.

She grabbed gloves and wiped away blood and debris that had stained survivors’ faces.

She helped the victims charge their phones from their beds so they could let loved ones know they survived the massacre.

Anything theyneeded, she’dtry to help. It was what shewas trained to do.

Portal has been a victim advocate at the University of Central Florida for more than a year, helping those affected by burglaries, fires and crime.

But nothing prepared her for what she saw in the hours after the June 12 massacre at Pulse nightclub that killed 49 people and injured more than 50 others.

“Iwas just focused onmy job and helping went room by room at as many people as I could, but when Iwent home exhausted it all hit me,” Portal said. “It’s just surreal.”

Portal is one of the four advocates from UCF who helped survivors and family who lost loved ones in the tragedy. Corretta Cottonand JessicaFarnan also responded, with ChristineMouton leading the pack.

The group recently talked about their roles during the tragedy for the first time just as students came back for a new school year. StudentJuanRamonGuerrero, 22, and alumnus Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32, were among those killed in the shooting.

June 12 started early for the group. Mouton was informed about the shooting about 3 a.m., when the full picture of what had happened still wasn’t clear. She turned on the news and then called in her group and asked them to respond to area hospitals.

Portal reported to Florida Hospital South. The other advocates, including Cotton, Farnan and Mouton, ended up at Orlando RegionalMedical Center.

As the death toll continued to rise, Mouton called in advocates around the state, realizing her group wouldn’t be enough to cover the magnitude of victims.

Farnan went to several area hospitals before she ended up at Orlando Regional Medical Center, where the majority of victimswere taken.

She met with Cotton. Itwas chaotic. The pair didn’t know what to do or where to start. They ended up in a large conference room where hospital staff had put victims’ loved ones.

Inside, they found dozens of people hungry for answers, many of whom become angry in the grief of the unknown.

“You try to showas much compassion as you can, giving people hugs, providing tissues and just being a person for them to talk to because there was a lot of confusion,” Cotton said.

Soon the names started to pour in, and it was time to notify the families of those killed.

Farnan brought families from the large conference room into a private room so hospital officials could give proper notification. After the second or third time bringing a family back, it was clear she wasn’t a messenger of good news.

“When I’d walk up to them, their faces would change and they’d just start pleading for me to just tell themwhatwas going on,” she said. “Itwas awful.”

Farnan and Cotton helped the families of about eight or nine victims cope that day.

“I’ll never forget the look on their faces,” Cotton said. “It’s indescribable. That pain.”

The group goes through training and helps victims deal with tragedy and crime on an almost daily basis, but they said nothing could have prepared them for this.

“We have training, but nothing could have had us ready to deal with something of this magnitude,” Cotton said. “I think in the moment we didn’t really realize but after the fact it was like, ‘Wow, this really happened.’ ”

Farnan said she has gone to therapy sessionsandalso attended a retreatday for first responders. The group has also counted on one another as they’ve healed and moved past the tragedy.

“We help others on a daily basis but one thing I know for sure is that you can’t help others without first making sure you’re OK,” Portal said.