Time shifts, beach getaway goes away

DearAmy: Every summer, my brother, sister and I, plus our families, converge upon our beach house for a family reunion and joint vacation. MysiblingsandIbuygroceries, make meals, and clean and fix what we can as payment for staying there.

Last summer, my parents offered to sell the house to one of us, and my sister was able to purchase it. She lives onlyanhouraway, wheremy brotherandI are only able to visit during the summer.

I felt a sense of relief since it holds decadesofmemories that will remain in the family.

As we made plans for this summer, I asked my sister what we could bring. She gave me a list of groceries and supplies, but then added that thingswould be “a little different” this year, as my brother and I would be expected to pay for our stay. She is charging about half of what a hotel would cost, so I can’t afford to stay for more than two or three nights. I don’t knowwhat to do.

I have always seen the house as our family house. It is legally inmy sister’s name and I accept that she will make changes. But to be charged to stay there upsets me, in part because it makes me feel like a guest rather than a familymember, and in part because of the financial strain. Howdo I express this tomy sister? I don’t want to make our treasuredvacation time awkward or full of resentment. — There’s No Place Like (theBeach) Home

DearNo Place: Being asked to pay your way doesn’t make you a guest, but a customer. Andif your sister is turning you into a customer, then why is she also expecting you to bring supplies?

Some families successfully share vacation housesandeach person pays an annual or per/ night fee to pay the bills. Your sister is announcing that the house is no longer a family home, but her home.

It is time for you to summer retreat. find another

Readers can send email to askamy@amydickinson.com.