Woman presses for personal details

Dear Amy: My husband works with “Dan,” who is married to “Cate.” For a while now, Cate has been reaching out to try to get together. She is an extroverted overachiever, always surrounded by scores of people, while Iama quiet homebody and tend to lean on a few very close family and friends. No character flaw, but the platonic equivalent of “no spark.”

A few years ago, after fertility struggles and IVF, my husband and I had a baby girl. While we were discreet about it during the process— it is stressful enough without an audience — we have been quite open about getting pregnant through IVF, though we don’t share the gory details.

Cate recently asked me about our experiences with IVF. I was happy to let her know the name of our clinic andanswerafewofherbasic questions, while sidestepping themore personal ones.

Most of all I strongly recommended that she speak to her doctor to explore their options. She has now asked me multiple times to have lunch with her or to meet up to “talk about it some more.” Idon’t feel comfortable as an expert or confidant on her fertility journey, especially if it means sharing the personal and financial details of mine.

I suspect it is as simple as repeating, “You should talk to your doctor” over and over again while speaking in generalities, but I amhoping youhavesomeotherglowing insight to offer. — Only an Acquaintance

Dear Acquaintance: You will have to risk seeming shy or “standoffish” while trying to politely repel this eager person. Tell her politely but very truthfully, “Everybody’s experience is different, and so I can’t really help you too much through this process. I hope you followed through with your doctor.” If there is a book or online resource you found helpful, you should share it with her.