Summer school
Hyde: Here are 10 rules for Dolphins to learn during offseason.
The NFL playoffs are upon us, and that means the Miami Dolphins are in their traditional, kneedeep stance in the offseason and we can predict their 2018 record. Or I can anyhow:
They’ll go 8-8, plus or minus two games.
Plus, if it’s a good year like 2016. Minus, if it’s a depressing 6-10 like this past season.
The Dolphins are the only NFL team since 2009 fluttering between 10-6 (once) and 6-10 (thrice) seasons. Who says they aren’t consistent? They’ve been 7-9 three times. They’ve been 8-8 twice.
They’ve been this brand of mediocre no matter the coach, the quarterback, the general manager and stadium name. There’s no need to depress everyone further by exploring how their AFC East bully, the New England Patriots, are the only team with at least 10 wins since 2003.
So one thing about this stretch is you see what works and doesn’t. If you don’t study history, you’re bound to need Jay Cutler at quarterback. Here are 10 OffSeason Rules the Dolphins should to know by now:
1. Remember football players age in dog years — even if you know them. Julius Thomas was this season’s Jordan Cameron. Cutler became this year’s Trent Green. Lawrence Timmons failed like Kevin Burnett did, and Rey Maualuga coming in overweight was like Karlos Dansby reporting 25 pounds overweight in 2013. Do I need to go on? “Don’t trust anyone over 30,” once was a generation’s slogan. There’s a reason.
2. Study what the Patriots do and copy it. Hey, if you can’t beat them, mimic them. For instance: The Patriots and Dolphins have similar defensive talent. The Patriots pressed Buffalo receivers in two December games and often double-covered tight end Charles Clay and running back LeSean McCoy in coverage. The Dolphins didn’t do that. Buffalo didn’t score an offensive touchdown in two games against New England, and quarterback Tyrod Taylor had a dismal 65.4 passer rating. Buffalo had five touchdowns against the Dolphins and Taylor had a 99.4 rating. Copy the best. Speaking of
which …
3. Talk with Philadelphia Eagles executive vice president of football operations Howie Roseman only to hear what he’s doing — then do that. That’s a team with vision. The Dolphins considered it a great deal trading the No. 8 overall pick in 2016 for Philadelphia’s No. 13 pick, Byron Maxwell and Kiko Alonso. How’s that looking now? Philadelphia took that No. 8 pick, used it to trade up to second overall and took quarterback Carson Wentz. The Eagles also stole running back Jay Ajayi from the Dolphins for a fourth-round pick. He is averaging a whopping 5.8 yards per carry in Philadelphia.
4. Follow the Eddie
Moore Rule. Remember Moore, the linebacker the Dolphins picked over Anquan Boldin in 2003 in the second round of the draft? He also was a medical liability. The Dolphins thought his knees would be fine. But players typically are who they are. Dion Jordan had substance-abuse issues. Jonathan Martin had emotional issues. DeVante Parker had injury issues. Jordan Phillips had an inner-motor issue (he came on in the last quarter this past season). Quit assuming people will change. Assume they’re Eddie Moore. Knees don’t improve.
5. Coach harder.
Quarterback Tom Brady famously erupted on the Patriots sideline because the offensive coordinator twice asked how he could miss an open receiver. When Dolphins receivers Kenny Stills and Jarvis Landry fumbled in Kansas City after catches, no coach said anything as they came to the sideline and sat down. Not a, “Hang onto the ball.” Not a, “We can’t have that.” Nothing in the immediate aftermath.
6. Say ‘no’ to Pittsburgh
Steelers cast-offs. Don’t even take calls from Pittsburgh. Timmons, Mike Wallace and Joey Porter weren’t worth their paychecks. Timmons went AWOL the first game and was invisible thereafter. Porter gave a good year of sacks, but was all about himself, even refusing to come off the field at times. The Steelers know what they’re doing. Stay away when they let someone go.
7. Don’t be Daddy Warbucks. Be shrewd. Alonso was on a $3.9 million deal for this past season. Why give him a big deal instead? Andre Branch is a nice player. But three years, $24 million nice? Don’t we all wish we had bosses like that? Winning NFL teams reward greatness when it’s necessary, not average when it’s not.
8. Always have a young quarterback developing.
You see the wasted year when you don’t? Patriots coach Bill Belichick isn’t any better at picking quarterbacks than anyone else. He just keeps fishing. He inherited Drew Bledsoe, drafted Tom Brady and kept taking quarterbacks. He’s taken nine to the Dolphins’ five in the same 17 drafts. That’s how you find a Jimmy Garoppolo and don’t waste $10 million on Cutler.
9. Study yourself. Seriously, how do the Dolphins finish 31st in penalties two seasons in a row? Something’s wrong. Is it players? Is it practices? Is it being too easy (see Step No. 5). You have another offseason to figure how to fix it.
10. Figure out why the offensive line can never get rebuilt. Fifteen years, it’s still under construction. When will it end? Make it stop. All of it. The construction. The forever issues. This incessant cycle of mediocrity, most of all.