‘Skinny one’ fluent in sarcasm

Dear Miss Manners: An annoyance I run into consistently since high school is how to respond to comments made about my body and face. (I am fluent in sarcasm, but I attempt to keep those comments to myself.)

“Skinny-shaming” is just as prevalent as fatshaming, and while I lead a healthy lifestyle and have no body image issues, I am tired of hearing that I am the “skinny one” or that I need to “eat a cheeseburger.”

I eat many cheeseburgers, thank you very much. My body mass is nobody’s business but my own.

Gentle Reader: Youth and slimness are unduly valued in Western society, and annoying as they may be, comments to that effect are meant as high praise.

Take them for how they are kindly, if awkwardly, intended. A curt, weak, tightlipped smile is all that is needed in response.

Miss Manners has decreed that one must refrain from commenting on others’ personal appearance, but to little avail.

Dear Miss Manners: I am the only person in my family to move out of state and across the country to work. My family feels that it is my obligation to make a yearly trip home to visit.

These trips are financially taxing, but I make them, regardless. The last visit, most of my family did not take time off of their work. In fact, not a single person went out of their way to spend time with me.

I had several cousins message me with woeful, “Why didn’t you come see me while you were here?” messages. Miss Manners, I drove 1,500 miles. I feel that they could have managed 15!

I told my family that I would host anyone who wished to see me in my home state, but I will not be traveling home next year.

They unfair.

Gentle Reader: Is it possible that while your family may well want to see you, it just might be difficult for them — as it would be for you — to drop everything when you are there? Before your next trip, make concrete plans with interested members — and do your best to rid yourself of the angry subtext. think I’m being

Send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com or email her at dearmissmanners @gmail.com.