Don’t donate your judgments

Dear Amy: In recent years, I have stopped wearing high-heeled shoes.

They can be so bad for the joints, tendons and the lower back. I object to the idea of women being encouraged to harm ourselves to meet an impossible standard of beauty.

I was recently asked to donate to a charity that provides formal clothes to underprivileged kids for their prom.

I have a few pairs of gently used and fairly expensive heels that I don’t wear any longer.

I could easily these shoes.

On the one hand, I do have an opportunity to help a girl somewhere to feel special and beautiful for a while.

On the other hand, I hate the idea of reinforcing this unreasonable ideal in the mind of an impressionable young person.

Should I donate the shoes? — Shoeless Joan

Dear Shoeless: It is not your job to tell underprivileged teens — or anyone — what they should desire in the way of footwear.

For example, I might not necessarily approve of the symbolic corporate yoke implied by the necktie, but donate — well, I think it would be refreshing if people didn’t pressure one another regarding choices that really are personal.

Aside from donating these shoes to this charity (or elsewhere), and possibly making someone’s day, your other option is to toss these shoes into the landfill.

I assume you don’t want to do that.

Maybe you could attach a tag to each pair of shoes, telling prospective wearers, “You may think you look fierce in these shoes, but they are really an orthopedic nightmare, a joint-killer and a tool of the patriarchy. Enjoy!”

Dear Amy: I’d like to offer a note of support for your answer to “No Sex in the Country,” the letter from a woman who did not want to have a sexual relationship with her male friend, who continued to pressure her.

I wonder if men understand how trapped women feel when they are persistently pressured for sex.

It’s a deal breaker, sure. — Been There

Dear Been There: completely agree.

Send email to askamy@ amydickinson.com. for