Couple on different wavelengths Mom-to-be rebuffs looks, comments Virgo, edit carefully to avoid a mess

Dear Readers: This week I am running topical “Best Of” columns while I’m on book tour. Today’s topic is marriage.

Dear Amy: For years, my husband has been controlling our radio and television programming. If I choose a radio station, he tells me the music is garbage, and he’ll tune it to his station. Until now, I’ve never felt it was worth arguing over.

Yesterday he was out of the house, and I was listening to a station that my daughters and I enjoy. When my husband came home, my daughter expressed her concern that the station was “not one of daddy’s.” She didn’t want to confront him and went upstairs.

Sure enough, he came in, realized that it was not one of his stations, said the music was garbage and turned it off, despite my objections.

He does the same thing with the TV. His inflexibility and dominating behavior are obvious to me in other situations that are more important (such as the extreme lack of organization in the house and his unwillingness to look for a job).

He is a stay-at-home dad. This was great while the kids were little, but due to instability in my profession, this is now causing concern. — Unable to Change Course

Dear Unable: You have wrapped many complaints about your husband into one bundle. From your account, he is intimidating and domineering — so intimidating that he has trained your daughter to believe that he literally owns the airwaves.

Imagine the impact of his behavior on your girls’ impression of how men do/should behave.

This is not about a clash of media taste — though I believe that whoever occupies a room first (or is making dinner) gets to choose the playlist (truly tasteless or degrading music and commentary are not for public consumption and — like the Supreme Court — the adults declare that we know where the line is when we hear it).

I agree that he needs to change in many ways for you to have a happier, peaceful, orderly household. You should mediate some of these issues in couples counseling. Failing that, if you are unwilling to leave the marriage, pursue counseling to learn how to stay. — February 2013

Send email to askamy @amydickinson.com.

Dear Miss Manners: I am 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are thrilled, and have made a decision not to find out the gender of our baby.

Since I started showing in the last few weeks, I’ve noticed how people think they have free rein to make comments on my body and appearance.

I know most of these comments are innocent and mean no harm.

Most comments allude to these people trying to guess the gender of our baby. I even had two women look me up and down and then make their assessment out loud: “Your legs don’t look any bigger, so it must be a girl!”

Shouldn’t these women know better than to judge pregnant women’s bodies? Not only is it rude and something they probably wouldn’t say to someone who isn’t pregnant, but it really makes an impact when you’re already self-conscious about the way your changing body looks.

Is there a way to stave off these comments nicely? I don’t want to cause problems with a snarky comeback.

Gentle Reader: Snark is all in the delivery. Miss Manners asks you to remove it from your voice when you give these people the satisfaction of what they really want from you: a request for advice.

“Really? Did you find that the size of your legs were a credible predictor of your baby’s gender?”

Dear Miss Manners: On a recent flight, when a fairly large gentleman sat down next to me in the middle seat, I squashed myself as close to the window as I could. He spoke to me and, as I turned to face him with a smile, I was hit by a horrid cloud of his extremely bad breath.

I responded to his question and quickly turned my face back towards the window to find clear air. His breath was so bad I felt nauseous and did not want to embarrass myself by losing my in-flight pretzels. What to do in this situation?

Gentle Reader: Bury your head in a book and then politely say, “This plane air is so stale that I find myself in need of a mint. May I offer you one?”

Send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com or email her at dearmissmanners @gmail.com.

Today’s Birthday: Build and strengthen your family’s financial security this year. Envision and plan your moves.

To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.

Aries (March 21-April 19) (7) Study finances, and review resources. Budget for priorities. Secure what you have, and check for changes in plans.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) (8) Strengthen partnerships over the next few days. Coordinate strategies. Travel delays could make virtual networking a better idea.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) (7) Work deadlines could preempt social and workout time. Go for balance. Exercise and sunshine reduce stress.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) (6) Consider love from new perspectives. Notice how you’ve been playing the game. How can you improve? Allow chaotic moments to pass.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) (6) Take a gentle approach at home and with family today and tomorrow. Trust and strong relationships build security, strength and resilience.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) (8) Brainstorm, create and write over the next few days. Study developments, and polish your presentation before sharing. Edit carefully to avoid a mess.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) (8) Focus on making money, and postpone purchases you can’t afford yet. Compromise, and handle the basics first.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) (9) Things could get chaotic. Misunderstandings come easily and are easily resolved. Use your power responsibly; watch where you step. Avoid stomping on someone.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) (5) Concentrate on cleanup over today and tomorrow. Slow down and reflect. Complete projects, file and put things away.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) (6) Team misunderstandings and challenges could frustrate or cause delays. Slow down and untangle any kinks as they arise. Avoid impetuous behavior.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) (7) Prepare to overcome a professional challenge for a few days. Keep backups; better safe than sorry. Double-check the data. Avoid provoking jealousies.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) (7) Keep on top of your studies and you won’t be caught blindsided by a pop quiz. Traffic or obstacles could frustrate travels. Stay flexible.