Make visiting in-laws feel special

Dear Miss Manners: My husband’s parents are visiting soon. How do I prepare for their threeday stay?

How should I prepare my home, how often should I cook, should I buy new sheets, plan activities? Should I buy them gifts? I do not want to look like I am trying too hard.

Gentle Reader: Why not? In-laws love that sort of thing.

Three days is a good amount of time to make things special for them, but also not to schedule every minute. Plan to make most meals, if possible, but leave room for them to invite you out or make their own plans. Suggest a few activities that might be to their liking, but similarly do not over-schedule.

Presents are unnecessary, although tokens like chocolates on their beds, or items related to the city or their interests, are always charming. Sheets need merely be clean, not new.

In short, Miss Manners recommends that you make every reasonable effort to make your in-laws’ visit comfortable, trying your best to ignore critiques — or to seek them.

Dear Miss Manners: I was dining out with two friends, and about halfway through the meal, one of them got up and went to sit with a couple in another room. (This is a place she frequents and knows other patrons.)

She briefly returned to finish her meal and pay her bill, but took her dessert out with her to the other room. When I left with the friend who had stayed with me, we all said goodnight.

What I’m wondering is: 1. Is this as rude as I think it is? and 2. Was there anything that should have or could have been said?

I’m not planning to go out with her again anytime soon, and it’s a shame — I would have liked to continue to socialize with her.

Gentle Reader: Unfortunately, she does not seem to share the sentiment, particularly if there was no follow-up apology. If one is forthcoming or this person expresses a desire to see you again and you are willing, Miss Manners suggests that you tell her you will choose another place — a restaurant less distracting than the last one.

Send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com or email her at dearmissmanners @gmail.com.