Adult’s foibles are not cute, could be serious Treating anxiety without impairment Capricorn, time to avoid domestic fuss

Dear Amy: My son-in-law is a physician at a large hospital.

He is exceptionally smart and well regarded, but he’s also incredibly dumb at the same time. His errors, goofs and mistakes have gotten so bad, that we often think twice before inviting him and my daughter anywhere. He is a one-man debacle.

In the last few months, he’s started a kitchen fire in their house, fallen down the stairs (injuring himself), backed his car out through their closed garage door and flooded his backyard by forgetting to turn the sprinklers off.

In just three days, he lost his car keys, shattered an antique, burnt an entire meal on the grill and created unnecessary drama by miscommunicating our plans to other family members.

My daughter seems to think his absent-mindedness is charming, but my wife and I do not. He does not drink excessively or have any medical issues.

We are planning a family vacation, but I refuse to have yet another family vacation wrecked because of his foibles. How do I address this? — Worried Dad

Dear Worried: You say your son-in-law does not drink excessively or have any medical issues, but how do you know? Have you conducted a neuro exam or tested him for drugs or other intoxicants?

One or even a few of these incidents could be chalked up to stress, exhaustion or absentmindedness. The picture you paint, however, is alarming. Urge him to get a thorough checkup.

He could have a serious neurological illness that he manages or masks while he is at work, but which flares when he is outside of his normal routine and surroundings.

I believe that some of the behavior you describe could be linked to very serious illness.

Your concerns are valid. Readers can send email to askamy@amydickinson.com or letters to “Ask Amy” P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY, 13068.

Dear Dr. Roach: I am a 58-year-old woman with a long medical history of anxiety. In 2007, my doctor prescribed me clonazepam 0.5 mg to take as needed for anxiety attacks and OCD, from which I constantly suffer.I went off it for a while. Then I began having greater anxiety, so my doctor instructed me to go back on it. I have been taking it every day and now am physically dependent on it. I tried going “cold turkey,” but it was awful. So I tried slowly tapering. My heart is constantly pounding, and I have much difficulty getting off this med.

My doctor then told me that I could stay on it for the rest of my life. Is this what I should do? I have constant anxiety, along with mental illness. I have mainly contamination OCD. — G.B.

I don’t think clonazepam is a good long-term treatment for most people with anxiety of the severity you describe and I don’t think it is working well for you.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is much discussed in television and movies, but not always accurately. One common example is hand washing to prevent the thoughts of contamination. People can have a high degree of insight into their condition (as you seem to) or little to no insight.

The combination of OCD and anxiety disorder is common, but nonetheless treatment requires familiarity with both conditions and expertise with medications. Most family doctors and internists lack sufficient expertise to take care of this condition optimally (this includes me). You absolutely should have a psychiatrist helping prescribe medications, and you may benefit from talk therapy as well.

Clonazepam is a good medication when used judiciously. Withdrawal symptoms can be mild or severe, but death would be most unlikely. Nonetheless, medicines like clonazepam are generally not effective in treating OCD.

Write to Dr. Roach at ToYourGoodHealth @med.cornell.edu.

Today’s Birthday: Prioritize love and happiness this year. Together you’re more powerful. Community changes require adaptation.

To get the advantage, check the day’s rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) (9) Invest your time, energy and money for future career benefit. Listen to your heart. Follow rules closely.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) (8) Action speak louder than words. Study, research, explore and investigate. Avoid a conflict of interests. Stand firm for a cause.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) (8) New information spurs action. Review shared investments and finances. Reaffirm a commitment. Cooperate for mutual gain.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) (7) Keep your agreements, especially with your partner. Do what you said you would.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) (8) Physical exercise and action get results. Learn from an expert, and listen to your coach. Discipline is required.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) (7) Consider your romantic history. You can overcome an obstacle. Adapt to changes.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) (7) Avoid a domestic fuss and clean a mess. It’s quicker and easier to handle it than to argue.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) (7) Catch up on reading. Writing projects can advance beyond expectation. Exceed your goals by reducing distractions.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) (7) Backstage action produces satisfying results. Don’t argue with a wise suggestion. Do the work that nobody sees. Repay a favor.

Aries (March 21-April 19) (9) Take actions on personal plans laid earlier. Postpone a financial discussion. Respond to all mail and calls.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) (6) Indulge nostalgia, retrospection and reflection. Contemplate potential outcomes. Take notes. Talk later.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) (8) Move on a lucky opportunity to advance against fierce competition. The team comes around to your way of thinking.