Goren Bridge
Today’s deal is from the recent Australian National Mixed Teams in Canberra. South was Australian expert Keiran Dyke. Dyke’s pass over five clubs is surprising, as we think most players would have doubled. It was a forcing pass, however, so there was no chance that his partner would not bid again. North’s choice of bidding five diamonds, rather than double, was clear cut.
Dyke won the opening trump lead in his hand and led a diamond to dummy’s queen, drawing trumps. A spade to the nine lost to the queen, and West shifted to the eight of hearts. East captured the king with his ace and led a low spade, ruffed by Dyke. The ace of clubs was cashed, dummy shedding a low heart, and a club was ruffed in dummy. A spade ruff back to his hand and Dyke was at the crossroads.
A heart to the 10 was an unappealing choice. Dyke was sure that West held the king of clubs for his vulnerable preempt, so he decided to try and pin the jack in the East hand. If it didn’t work, he could always try the heart finesse later. Dyke led his queen of clubs and hoped. West elected not to cover, so Dyke took a deep breath and discarded dummy’s 10 of hearts. He was home when East followed with the jack. He had no trouble ruffing his remaining club and cashing his last heart in dummy to bring home his contract.
Dear Amy: Our adult son “James” lives on his own and has a successful career. Suddenly, without notice or explanation, James has cut off all communication with his two loving parents — myself andmy wife.
Just three months ago we were all together enjoying a birthday lunch (for me), where James introduced his newgirlfriend.
My wife and I are tearing ourselves apart seeking a reason for this estrangement. It seems the grievance is with us.
James refuses to talk about it — with his brother or with us.
His new girlfriend seems to be the only variable in the family equation that has changed. Is she manipulating him? Whatdowedo?— Shutout Dear Shutout: I shared your query with Karl Pillemer, director of the Bronfenbrenner Center for Translational Research at Cornell University. Pillemer is currently studying family estrangement.
He responds, “In a survey conducted by Cornell, I asked respondents whether they were estranged from one of these relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, brother or sister. Over one-fifth (22 percent) of this nationally representative sample reported having one of these estrangements. Therefore, people experiencing estrangement should know that they are by no means alone.”
In your case, I agree that your son’s new relationship seems to be the main variable. Abusive or controlling partners can isolate people from their loved ones. Be very cautious about blaming his girlfriend for his actions; this could make him dig in further.
Do NOT allow this to “destroy” your family. Painful as this is, you should carry on as a family. Continue to include and invite “James” (and his girlfriend) to all functions. Youand your wife should see a therapist for support.
Readers can send email to askamy@amydickinson.com or letters to “AskAmy” P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY, 13068.