Family feuds like some cats and dogs

Dear Amy: My son and his family recently took a twoweek trip. I volunteered to watch their three large dogs in my small, 900-square-foot home while they were away.

One week after their return, I then asked them to watch my (one) dog for three days. They said, “We can’t have him here because he chases our cat.”

Amy, they live on a oneacre property with lots of space for kitty to escape!

My daughter-in-law said she was willing to stay at my house after work to care for my dog, but that meant my dog would be alone all day.

My son is a stay-at-home dad, so someone is always home there. I’m so hurt. My son says my thinking is skewed, and that his wife was trying to make everyone happy. It is her cat.

I am not happy, because it feels like my daughter-inlaw’s cat is more important than my dog and me.

I gave them a $200,000 break on the house they bought from me, plus I paid $13,000 for a new roof and windows. I have been very helpful to them, and yet they can’t do this one thing I ask of them?! Is my thinking skewed? — Very Upset

Dear Upset: Yes, your daughter-in-law’s cat is probably more important than your dog — to her — just as your dog is obviously more important than her cat — to you.

On the one hand, I agree that this family should turn themselves inside out to try to help you. On the other hand, your daughter-in-law seems to be trying to reciprocate, by offering to visit, feed and walk your dog after work.

You are conflating many huge financial gifts and favors you have done for this family with their unwillingness to take care of your dog under the conditions you want.

Your help seems to have become a burden for you when they don’t express their gratitude through reciprocation.