Public mocking calls for humor

Dear Miss Manners: I was riding a crowded metro train at rush hour, people tightly packed together, with no chance to move away from a group of eight people who were loudly mocking, berating and laughing at me and other passengers.

Except to endure the embarrassment as it continued unabated, was there any recourse at all?

Gentle Reader: You might say, to the other innocent victims in an equally loud voice, “I do so love street theater, don’t you?”

Dear Miss Manners: I’m estranged from my parents and so are my husband and children. While the estrangement is irrelevant to my father, it bothers my mother, but not enough for her to make proper amends.

Although she has access to her other grandchildren, she’s the only person in her family to be denied access to relatives. So far, she has been able to conceal this fact, and I have not said anything. (My children see my in-laws frequently, so they’re not missing out on grandparents.)

As a way to get back into my good graces and gain access to my children, my mother continues to send gifts for holidays, special occasions, and for no reason. These gifts come in the mail, directly addressed to them.

Rather than explain why they get presents from a grandparent they’ve never met, I tell my kids the gifts are from me. My husband is none the wiser, and I do not think he cares. My children have also never inquired about my side of the family, but when they do, I have an age-appropriate explanation ready.

I confided this information to a close friend, and she was shocked. She said I should either give the gifts away or send them back, and that I shouldn’t be telling my kids they’re from me as this is quite rude and an etiquette violation. What should I do? Gentle Reader: This practice is not so much rude as it is fraudulent.

If you are not going to acknowledge the presents, the only honorable thing would be to return them. Or to send a letter saying that you do not wish to receive any more.