Love everyone, despite the outcome Consult cardiologist on aneurysm risks

Dear Amy: My brother’s girlfriend is pregnant. She told him it might be his or another man’s baby. There’s no way to tell who the father is, until after the birth.

What do I tell my 9-yearold daughter? I don’t want my daughter to get excited about a new cousin, and then have to let her down.

If it’s my brother’s baby, I’d love to throw his girlfriend a baby shower and come to the hospital after the baby is born to see the baby. If it’s not my brother’s baby, I’m guessing that my brother and his girlfriend will break up, but I don’t know that for sure. I don’t have a very strong relationship with his girlfriend, but I want to be in this baby’s life if it’s my niece or nephew and I know that this will depend on the girlfriend’s willingness to allow this.

Please help me navigate this. It’s not exactly something covered in etiquette books. — Maybe Auntie

Dear Maybe: What would happen if you just decided to love everyone anyway, regardless of the outcome?

Simply be supportive and a positive presence to everyone involved. You are already a parent, so you have a lot to offer. Talk to your brother about what involvement he would prefer, but you should welcome this baby into the world regardless of its DNA. Host a shower, pass along your favorite advice books and let your child get excited about a new family member. Depending on what happens after the birth, you should just roll with it.

The thing about babies is that they arrive, regardless of the complications in their parents’ or other adults’ lives. It is better for this baby to arrive into an open-hearted and loving family, versus one that is waiting on testing to determine whether they will love it.

If this couple does part company, explain things to your daughter then, with no regrets over your own actions.

Dear Dr. Roach: My boyfriend recently was diagnosed with having an aneurysm.

The report says that the abdominal aorta is 3.02 cm in largest dimension and his doctor is recommending that he get screening done every six months.

Do we need to see a cardiologist for a second opinion? Is there medication to help? — B.S.

The aorta is the largest blood vessel in the body. It comes directly off the left ventricle of the heart and supplies blood to the entire body.

It may become enlarged either in the chest area (a thoracic aneurysm) or in the abdomen.

Abdominal aortic aneurisms are more common in men, especially over 65, and smoking is the biggest risk factor.

There could be contributing familial conditions as well, such as Marfan syndrome, for instance.

Most people have an abdominal aorta that measure s no bigger than 3 cm, so your boyfriend’s is just barely over the cutoff of what is considered normal.

His risk for rupture, the dreaded complication of an AAA, is probably negligible at this size.

I agree with the screening recommendations, and would advise tobacco cessation if he smokes, regular moderate exercise and control of blood pressure if high.

Seeing a cardiologist would also be a reasonable thing to do.

Your boyfriend could get personalized advice on his risk reduction options from such a specialist.

Although aspirin and statin drugs may have a benefit, the evidence for it is weak.

Most experts do not recommend statins unless there are other indications for taking them.