Friendship falters after ‘bridezilla’ day

Dear Amy: My friend “Rose” and I met as co-workers. We’ve always had fun together, and we used to have a lot in common. I asked her to be a bridesmaid and we had a great time. Our friendship continued after I moved two hours away.

Two years ago, she asked me to be her maid of honor. Where my wedding was a simple walk in the park, hers was the worst experience of my life. She turned into a Bridezilla and was completely ungrateful for everything everyone did for her.

Since then, we don’t talk much anymore.

When my husband and I recently found out I am pregnant with our first child, we didn’t make a big deal about telling people, other than our families.

We made an official announcement on social media, then I got a long message from her saying how hurt she is that I didn’t tell her, and that I am not trying in our friendship, whereas she is going out of her way to stay friends and she doesn’t want to lose me.

No congrats, no well wishes, no happy messages. Is this a sign our friendship has expired? Am I just overreacting? — Feeling Stuck

Dear Stuck: “Rose” seems to have made your pregnancy about your relationship with her, but at least she has told you honestly that she feels she is trying harder than you are.

Rose seems to have discerned accurately that you are backing away from the relationship, and she is telling you that she doesn’t want this to happen.

You could encourage her to go away if you were as honest with her as she is being with you. You could say, “The reason I didn’t let you know about my pregnancy is because your wedding seemed like a turning point in our friendship. I felt exhausted by it, and you never expressed any gratitude, so I’ve backed away.”