Careless parenting leaves teens at risk

Dear Amy: My women friends and I are all mothers of teenagers. Due to current events, we’ve discussed sexual assault and the roles and responsibilities of the various parties. One of my closest friends expressed the opinion that many girls these days “dress like tramps,” so it’s not surprising that boys respond sexually.

In a separate conversation, three moms stated that they have told their sons that they need to watch out for girls these days, because girls are likely to falsely allege sexual assault. Another mom stated that, “The girls deserve what they get” because of the way they dress.

I asked her if she meant rape. She shrugged and said, “Maybe not rape, but I bet they like getting touched.”

Amy, I am floored. I believe that girls should be respected, regardless of their clothing choices. I’ve made this clear to my daughters and my son. Some of the women I’m describing are my best friends, and I’m struggling to reconcile their views with the kind people they otherwise are.

Your advice if this comes up again? — Frustrated Friend

Dear Frustrated: Your friendsare not only ethically wrong but placing other teens at risk. Your own daughter, for example, is interacting with teenage boys who are being told that girls “deserve” to be touched against their will, and are basically asking for it.

I only agree with one aspect of this advice, although not for the reason this mom intended: Yes, boys would be wise to “watch out” for girls these days, because girls these days are more likely to fight back or report unwanted touching or sexual assault, rather than silently suffer.

You should continue to advocate for advanced thinking with your friends in this regard.